After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the Limo, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave ?'.

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I can't let you do that. I'd lose my job!'.


'Who's going to tell ?' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the Limo to 105 mph.

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear police sirens.

'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!', moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his Motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a Limo going 105.

'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.

The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor ?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'A senator ?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'The President ?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

"So," said the Chief, 'Who is it ?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God ?'

'Well', said the Cop: His chauffeur is the Pope!'.

Unknown "Old Man" Adventurous - 16 years, 6 months, 2 days ago

An Indian moves to Montreal and goes to a big department store looking for a job.
The manager asks, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The Indian says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home".

Well, the manager liked the young man, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did, but let me give you a bit of advice. If a customer comes looking, say, for toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush, or shaving cream etc. You get the idea?"

"Of course," the young man said. His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the manager came down. "How many sales did
you make today?

The Indian says, "One"

The manager groans, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales/day.
How much was the sale for?"

The Indian says, "$101,237.64 "

The manager exclaims, "What? $101,237.64 ? What did you sell him?"

The Indian replied, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a
medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new
fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down
at the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to
the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he
said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to
the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Pajero."

The manager says "You mean a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you
sold him a boat and truck?!"

The Indian says, "No, no, no, he came in here to buy a box of Kotex for
his wife and I say since your weekend's already screwed up you might as well
go fishing."

Unknown "Old Man" Adventurous - 16 years, 6 months, 2 days ago

Must be Signaporean or Chinese to understand this riddle ^_^

Q) Osama, Bush , Blair and Saddam play mahjong. Who will win
first ??
A) Saddam Hussein because Saddam Hu Xian

Unknown "Old Man" Adventurous - 16 years, 6 months, 2 days ago