The Toolshed is proud to announce that work commenced on our new venture today. Toolbox Productions Adult Films Inc have finished filming a feature lenth porno extravaganza plus two shorts, all starring the delectable Mimsy Margate, a true porn star in the making...there's nothing Mimsy won't do for us and now it's all being lovingly documented on VHS, DVD and Super 8 for your pleasure. Upcoming attractions will be a porno restaging of Mary Poppins and Mimsy's attempt to beat the current world gang-bang record...watch this space - it's sizzling!
Unknown "Velocet" Rabid - 16 years, 5 months, 18 days ago

I'm still intrigued by why this application disappeared yesterday, if indeed it was because of the huge amount of shitty porn thumnails being posted in the shops then that's a sad comment on the lack of imagination a lot of the people on here have. If I want to see crap porn I'm perfectly capable of finding it (or, indeed, making it - see above) on the internet for myself I don't need it messing up a fun application that franky is more interesting and enjoyable without it...moan, grumble, groan, mumble etc...
Unknown "Velocet" Rabid - 16 years, 6 months, 2 days ago

MY FAIR LADY Song list and complimetary film scenes for tomorrow's performance
Act I
Overture...the curtain goes up to reveal Prof Higgin's study which is set in the torture room from Videodrome complete with electrified clay wall.
Why Can't the English?........Forced Entry fellatio and throat-cutting
Wouldn't It Be Loverly?........hitchhiker's torture scene from Buio Omega
With a Little Bit of Luck........Lucker prostitute murder scene
I'm an Ordinary Man..........Murder-Set-Pieces improvisation
With a Little Bit of Luck (Reprise).......Lucker necrophagia scene
Just You Wait........Last House on Dead End St
The Servants Chorus (Poor Professor Higgins).....Dr Butcher MD
The Rain in Spain..........................Man Behind the Sun medley
I Could Have Danced All Night............Splinter in the eye from Zombie Flesh Eaters
Ascot Gavotte......................foetus-eating scene from Anthropophagus
On the Street Where You Live.........disembowellment from Deadbeat at Dawn
Embassy Waltz ......Lord Horror's balloon dance

Interlude featuring Poppet's Magic Act, refreshments and my special rendition of the Sodomy song from Meet the Feebles.

Act II
You Did It..................Bloodsucking Freaks dentist scene
Just You Wait (Reprise)......Salo coprophilia banquet
On the Street Where You Live (Reprise)........New York Ripper
Show Me.................Cannibal Holocaust abortion scene
Wouldn't It Be Loverly? (Reprise) Porno Holocaust dick of death
Get Me to the Church on Time..........Absurd medley
A Hymn to Him....Aftermath autopsy scene
Without You......Nightmares in a Damaged Brain ice pick to the spine
I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face.....Scalping scene from Maniac

Followed by a Texas Chainsaw Tea Party.


Unknown "Velocet" Rabid - 16 years, 7 months, 14 days ago

Confessions of a Morgue Attendant (Overview)
Timothy Lea starts his new job as a Morgue Attendant and as usual saucy hilarity ensues. On his first day a coach carrying dolly birds to a local beauty contest overturns on the motorway with three lovely fatalities. Before you can say "Knickers" the girls are shovelled off the road and into the morgue, what fun for Timothy!
Starring Robin Askwith as Timothy Lea
Linda Hayden, Madeline Smith and Lynda Bellingham as the corpses
Alfie Bass as the Coroner
Irene Handl as the tea lady
Unknown "Velocet" Rabid - 16 years, 7 months, 28 days ago

COMING SOON...Carry On up the Crematorium and Confessions of a Morgue Attendant - the lost scripts...(extract)
Cleaning Lady: Barbara Windsor "Cor! That's the biggest stiff one I've ever seen."
Undertaker: Sid James *chuckles* "and I'll bet you've seen plenty eh darlin'."
Cleaning Lady: "Saucy! But yes he must be nearly 7 foot tall."
Corpse lying in coffin: Bernard Breslaw *Winks at camera*
Unknown "Velocet" Rabid - 16 years, 8 months ago