So my boy (Colin) has been dissapointing me lately. He just drinks and drinks, actually haven't seen him eat in weeks. He just hits the bottle until he's had way too much and most of the time ends up puking all over himself and his clothes. After each of his binges he inevitably passes out for an hour or two, unmoved my loud music, vacuuming, I don't think he'd budge if they launched the goddamn space shuttle from the neighbor's backyard! While in his lethargic stooper he manages to usually both piss and shit in his pants, he goes through 3-4 sets of clothes a day, which his mother graciously washes. Finally, he wakes up and just when I expect some sort of apology or explaination of the irrational behavior he's right back at it looking for another drink. I didn't expect to have to deal with this kind of thing until he was in college.

I've decided he's just living it up while he's young and can handle it- getting through the drunken frat-boy stage early. Granted, he's not even 4-weeks old and he's apparently getting hammered on breast milk but I thought we'd have more time before the binge drinking started. I just hope it's out of his system before pre-school or the other kid's parents are going to upset by the "bad-influence".
Unknown "Eros®" Rabid - 16 years, 10 months ago

Roller Derby is easily the highest value in spectator sports available. It wraps sex, violence, athletic prowess, good and bad music all into a nice 2.5 hour-ish show for the modest price of $15. This is flat-track roller derby, not that 70's bank-tracked WFF-esque fake bullshit. The girls hit hard and hit for real, nothing is scripted. If you can get there early you can sit right on the edge of the track, on the floor- close enough to see the bangs and brusies. Another bonus- there's typically a formal after-bout soiree and you can buy you favorite rolling pugilist a shot (of somthing that should probably be used as a solvent, not a drink)- it helps to numb the pain.

www.rockymountainrollergirls.com
www.denverrollerdolls.com

Mind your beer and watch out for the errant skate.
Unknown "Eros®" Rabid - 16 years, 10 months, 1 day ago

Not everyone cares about your kids.

I don't like babies and/or very young children. Why is it not OK, am i required to be a baby person? I really am not a goo goo gaa gaa kind of guy. Seems that all of my friends have been married and are now in the "family way" expecting that I am too. Every conversation now ultimately winds up focused on making a baby (starts fun, then gets too clinical), enduring the pregnancy (you'd think they'd be happy- it's what you wanted, right?), having the baby (ouch), then rearing child and collecting baby accessories. I've started to avoid all my friends that are baby processing, I'm just tired of hearing about it.

I'm supposed to be in awe of little miracle, but as far as I can tell every living thing is capable of reproducing- right? Why is it so special? Because it's yours? Then don't get me involved, if I cared I'd ask. I'm sure this will be the death of most of my friendships as I know it.

I like it very quiet in the morning, I want to get up slowly, shower thoroughly, meticulously make my coffee, get caught up on the news and head to work. Kids get up instantly, make a fucking racket, rush around because they're late and my morning is shot. I like to stay out late and come home drunk occasionally, I doubt that would go over well- but why lie? They'll find out soon enough. I like my car to stay very clean- it's faster like that. Every car I've seen with a baby seat in back looks like a goddamn cereal bomb went off- fucking Cheerios in every crease of every seat. Little fruity flavored dinosaur gummies mashed and melted to the point is actually become part of the carpet. Crusty white milk and puke stains everywhere, the door handle is perpetually covered with some sticky nastiness. Not to mention the music selection includes all manner of bullshit song sung in a helium filled studio, I might as well be pushing toothpicks through my eardrums and using long, sharp tweezers to pick those three little bones out- at least then it would be quiet.

(writen roughly eleven months prior to the birth of my boy...that's karma running up and kicking me hard, right in my left nut)
Unknown "Eros®" Rabid - 16 years, 10 months, 3 days ago