OK so here's a tale I remebered today. A tale that relates to my tail if you like.
Some time ago whilst in the wettest NorthWest I lived with a cheeky chap who liked to take a bath at about the same time as everyone else in the house wanted to brush their teeth etc.
In any case this went on for a while and the little bastard could quite easily spend an hour or more if you didnt time it right, thus building up a queue. So one day I managed to get in just as he was running said bath. Told him I would stop the tap after brushing.
This I did. But then I also adorned his bath with a couple of slices of brown bread, some other bathroom paraphernalia and painted a picture of him on the wall in shaving foam.
He was not amused. He said he would get me back.
I then forgot.
In the weeks that passed I had let him use my room to watch some movies while I was out. No big deal. A friend can borrow the use of my DVD player for sure.
About 3 weeks passed and I was on my way to take my final exams in geography. That morning was Integrated Water Management. So yeah I was a bit stressed with having all my exams in a 7 day period.
Then I walked past a window and had the most profound double take of my life. Back paced to see myself in the window on an A3 poster. Naked. With a caption that read "Nick Piper....doin it for the ladies!!!".
What I didn't know at this point was that I had walked straight past the A1 size blown up lifesize version in the underpass as I, and most likely the rest of the student population disembarked from the buses that morning.
I also had no idea that he had found out where my exam room was and that several duplicates had been strategically placed in the waiting areas!!
The genius of the photo was that it was taken as I was brushing my teeth, turned around with a mouth full of toothpaste and a pretty stupid look on my face.
Little bastard wasnt JUST looking watching films but snooping through my photos. You have to admire the intensity. Not least because he had library staff assist in the printing process. I thank them too.
For several weeks after I was known as 'naked man' by some. Or so I'm told. A female friend of mine was approached in the toilet and greeted with "you're out with NAKED MAN!!!" couched in a kind of disbelief. I like to think that girl was just a prude.
There is no moral to this story. But on a practical note I would suggest the following:
Dont put brown bread in a media students bath unless you are prepared to bear your naked arse to the world!
This pretty much counts as my number 1 in top 5 hints and tips.
He now works for the bbc.
Unknown"My Goat Boy"Dazed
- 12 years, 1 month, 2 days ago
OK so played a new game at the weekend in the pub. Its called top 5's and its embedded in my consciousness with High Fidelity.
Topics included but were not exclusive to:
top 5 adjectives that are NOT you top 5 Swedish words about texture top 5 movie titles that could also be a sandwich top 5 wins (the concept of win to the power of three was also discussed, as was the phrase 'win cubed').
A most productive use of our time indeed.
Unknown"My Goat Boy"Dazed
- 12 years, 1 month, 3 days ago
Well my hangover has led me into the productive business of creating a shop.
Its my first time as a shopkeeper in any circumstances so hopefully my customer service skills are up to it. Unknown"My Goat Boy"Dazed
- 12 years, 1 month, 5 days ago
Why would you try to buy my glow necklace for a mere 10p in a kebab shop? BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL OF A CERTAIN AGE? Well it takes more than that to procure my gloe necklace just so you know! Unknown"My Goat Boy"Dazed
- 12 years, 1 month, 6 days ago
Well....I've discovered that if I drink enough cocktails I can pay for bus journeys with an unspecified amount of cash and other random things. Some time after I'd made friends with Tom Collins Singapore Sling and said hello to a black russian i hopped on a bus and proceeded to give the driver the contents of my right pocket. No idea what I gave him but it was definitely a mixture of money, chewing gum and rizla's!
I'm a good customer. Unknown"My Goat Boy"Dazed
- 12 years, 1 month, 11 days ago