One day my friend Dan Tran and I stumbled upon this old map while cleaning out my attic. Enfield Connecticut was written on the top of it in large bold letters. Naturally, i took out my liter to burn it; Dan Tran despised this idea and immediately tackled me onto the ground, tossing my liter into the shot glass filled with gasoline. [Dan drinks gasoline because thats the only thing he runs on...] The flame hadn't gone out because it was one of those easy liters that only take one flick and they stay on. The little cup shattered and Dan got a huge shard of glass right in the eye! Anyway...we were in the attic so ther was a lot of old sheets and curtains. Everything went up in flames so I helped Dan get out into the kitchen downstairs. We were both panicking, but i had it under control; i gave Dan a bouncy ball and told him to play around with it until i came back. He yelled something about his eye to me, but I had to stop the fire and get that stupid map he wanted. When i got into the attic it was crazy hot and I felt my skin peeling off when i was looking for the map. Also, I had just remembered that Dan had a tail, which was actually a hose. So, I went and got him and we put out the fire. the map was right in the middle of the fire and nothing at all had happened to it. Dan said that it must be magic, but what did he know...We looked carefully over the map and I told him it was garbage. He seemed to be fascinated by it and decided to Google Enfield CT. Nothing came up, only some grocery store founded by some George Enfield guy nobody cares about.
A couple weeks later Dan and I were walking down the street, hoping our friend Ray, who lived at the end of the street, was home. When we got there, he said he'd be out in a minute and I heard him yell "Yo uncle george i be back lata, aight." While I was twiddling my thumbs waiting for Ray, Dan saw a bright, white X in the middle of Ray's lawn. He asked me if i remember that map we found and explained that it had a bright, white X on it, as well. "Yeah I remember, what? You think thats the X form the map." I replied. "Yep, I do. Let's get Ray and then find that map." he said. After telling him he was a such a goo cheem, we went to my house and found the stinking map. Got the map, got ourselves, and went back to Ray's house. And then, suddenly, we all feel to the ground in agonizing pain and God hovered over us in a helicopter telling us that we made a big mistake. We all shouted iiiiiiiimmmmm soooorrrrrrrrryy as blood gushed from our throats like one of those gay water fountains with those old roman dude with baby penises....and once again God spoke to us as what we thought were the last words we'd ever hear and he said "Just Kiddin'" and we all felt so much better and we even got an extra heart like in those old Zelda video games.
