In a School science class four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a jar full of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar full of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar full of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar full of soil.

After one day, these were the results:

The first worm in alcohol - died.

The second worm in the cigarette smoke - died.

The third worm in the sperm - died.

The fourth worm in the soil - was alive.

So the science teacher asked the class - "What can you learn from this experiment."
Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said. "As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't have worms."
Unknown "Monkeys Pet" Feisty - 16 years, 3 months, 21 days ago

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he had no body to go with.
Unknown "Monkeys Pet" Feisty - 16 years, 3 months, 21 days ago

When the nurse was bathing a female patient who had been in a coma for many months, she noticed a reaction when placing a sponge between her legs. When the doctor was notified, he called the husband and asked him to report to the hospital immediately. Upon his arrival the doctor explained that the nurse had seen a reaction when her private parts were stimulated. He suggested that the husband should have oral sex with her because it might lead to improvement in her condition. After about 15 minutes the husband came out of her room and announced that she was dead!

"How did that happen?" asked the doctor.

"I think she choked to death," said the husband.
Unknown "Monkeys Pet" Feisty - 16 years, 3 months, 21 days ago

Two bats are going for their midnight feed.
After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies, "Follow me. I`ll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"
Other bat says, "I didn't."


Unknown "Monkeys Pet" Feisty - 16 years, 3 months, 21 days ago

A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate

Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?
Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.
Interviewer: How did you get that hook?
Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.
Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?
Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.
Interviewer: And that put your eye out?
Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.
Unknown "Monkeys Pet" Feisty - 16 years, 3 months, 21 days ago