All Grandmas are not created equal.

i love my grandma [rip]
all my friends have the greatest grandmas on earth.
i thought all grandmas were nice.
it is not so.

today i got glared at by a grandma stopped at an imaginary stop sign. WTH?

once i had two broken legs and a grandma yelled at me for being parked in the handicapped spot. i yelled some curse words at her and probably threatened to beat her with my crutches. or better yet, maybe i blacked out, poured acid all over her and delightfully watched her melt.

it just makes me wonder, who gets the crappy grandmas?
to think that someone out there has a crack smoking jaywalker for a grandma makes me sad.

ps. despite what it may sound like. i DO like the elderly. [JK] [NotReally] [JK]
Unknown "*babygirl*" Sparkling - 16 years, 10 months, 26 days ago

Scar tissue has no character. It's not like skin. It doesn't show age or illness or pallor or tan. It has no pores, no hair, no wrinkles. It's like a slip cover. It shields and disguises what's beneath. That's why we grow it; we have something to hide.
Unknown "*babygirl*" Sparkling - 16 years, 11 months, 6 days ago

Alice laughed, "There's no use trying," she said, "one can't believe impossible things."

"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
Unknown "*babygirl*" Sparkling - 16 years, 11 months, 6 days ago

i do not like mean old men.

they come in here acting like they are the bomb diggety.

NEWSFLASH - YOU HAVE OLD BALLS.
you are NOT in fact the [bombdiggety]

they want to know where to eat breakfast and then scowl when i say that i don't eat breakfast.

they fart uncontrollably while i'm checking them in.
which forces me to stand there letting the stench into my nostrils.
A VIOLATION OF MY RIGHTS!!!
Unknown "*babygirl*" Sparkling - 16 years, 11 months, 7 days ago

they fall on the steps and force me to feel sorry for them.

they get discounts for being old. i'll never really understand that one.

they don't want that room. there's a smear on the mirror. a run in the carpet. a body in the bathtub. GIVE ME A BREAK!

they shake erratically when pulling out their driver's license.

they tell me i remind them of their granddaughter and then proceed to hit on me, saying offensive things like "you should just be spanked at midnight." [truestory]

of course they say less offensive things like,
"i bet you're boyfriend loves you all night long."
"you're sweet like candy."

they love to offer me beer, pizza, and ciggarettes.
NoTHANKS!

to put it simply, old people should not be allowed motel rooms.
only because it makes my relatively easy job quite irritating.

[endrant]

p.s. Where's the ice machine???
Unknown "*babygirl*" Sparkling - 16 years, 11 months, 7 days ago