Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass ...

It's about learning to dance in the rain.


Unknown "~Princess Ly~" - 15 years, 10 months, 6 days ago

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice... "Let me tell you a story."


"I too, at times, have felt great hate for those who have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It's like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times. "


"It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way."


"But...the other wolf... Ah! The littlest thing will send him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all of the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing."


"Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."


The boy looked intently into his Grandfather' s eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather ?"


The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."
Unknown "~Princess Ly~" - 15 years, 10 months, 24 days ago

Through the Window

A young couple moved into a new neighbourhood.
The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbour hanging the wash outside.

"That laundry is not very clean", she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap"

Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbour would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"


The husband said, "I got up this morning and cleaned our windows."



And so it is with life. What we see when
watching others, depends on the purity of the
window through which we look.


Unknown "~Princess Ly~" - 15 years, 10 months, 24 days ago

The future of nursery rhymes

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

The structure of the wall was incorrect

So he won a grand with Claims Direct.


Jack and Jill went into town

To fetch some chips and sweeties.

He can't keep his heart rate down

And she's got diabetes.


Mary had a little lamb

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her

Between two chunks of bread.


Mary had a little lamb

It ran into a pylon.

10,000 volts went up its @rse

And turned its wool to nylon.


Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

When the boys came out to play

He kissed them too cause he was gay.


Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Jill, the dill,

Forgot her pill,

And now they have a son.


Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

And planned to do some kissing.

Jack made a pass

And grabbed her ass

Now two of his teeth are missing.


Mary had a little lamb

Its fleece was white and wispy.

Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease

And now it's black and crispy.

Unknown "~Princess Ly~" - 15 years, 12 months, 2 days ago

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."

The man perks up at this.

"So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.

"So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"

"I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you in making the decision?"

"She has," says the man.

"And what is it?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting a new kitchen."


Unknown "~Princess Ly~" - 16 years, 1 month, 9 days ago