人啊！(真一針見血)

沒錢的時候,養豬；有錢的時候，養狗。
沒錢的時候,在家裡 吃野菜；有錢的時候,在酒店吃野菜。
沒錢的時候,在馬路上騎 行車；有錢的時候，在客廳裡騎自行車。
沒錢的時候想結婚； 有錢的時候想離婚。
沒錢的時候老婆兼秘書；有錢的時候秘書 老婆。
沒錢的時候假裝有錢；有錢的時候假裝沒錢。

人啊 都不講實話：
說股票是毒品，都在玩；說金錢是罪惡，都在 ；
說美女是禍水，都想要；說高處不勝寒，都在爬；
說煙酒 身體，就不戒；說天堂最美好，都不去!!!
當今社會，窮吃肉 富吃蝦，領導幹部吃王八；
男想高，女想瘦，狗穿衣裳人露肉 ；
過去把第一次留給丈夫；現在把第一胎留給丈夫。
鄉下早 雞叫人，城裡晚上人叫雞；
舊社會戲子賣藝不賣身，新社會演 員賣身不賣藝。
Unknown "Where is Roger?" Evasive - 16 years, 10 months, 12 days ago

◎跟在家一樣
Just like home

妻子到監獄探望丈夫時問︰"親愛的，你在這裡過得怎麼 樣 "
Wife went to visit the husband in jail and asked:" My dear, how do you feel in here?"

"就跟在家一樣，哪兒也不讓去，伙食也糟透了…… "
replies:" Just like home, don't let me go any where, and the food sux......"


口頭的性愛/
Oral sex

22歲的年輕新郎約翰，在新婚的前夕，詢問爺爺，究竟要如 計畫嘿咻嘿咻的頻率呢？
22 yr old Groom John, in the eve of the wedding asks the grand father, how should he plan how often he should have sex?
60多歲的爺爺說出了他的經驗談：
the 60 yr old grand father tells him he's experience:

當你還在新婚時期，你會隨時想要嘿咻嘿咻，也許一 好幾回。」
"When you have just newly wed, you would like to do it any time, maybe many times a day."

爺爺繼續說：「而後呢，做愛次數逐漸減少，或許一禮拜做一 。再然後呢，隨著年齡逐漸變老，可能一個月才嘿咻嘿咻一次
grand keep on saying: " and then, the times that you do it will decrease, maybe once a week. and then, as your age gets older, maybe once a month."

等到真的已經老了，幸運的話，可能是一年成功的做 次，也許在你的週年紀念日。」
and when you get really old, if lucky, success comes maybe once a year, maybe on your anniversary."

好奇的新郎繼續追問爺爺：「喔！原來是這樣啊，那你現在跟 奶做愛的情形呢？」
curiously the groom keep ask he's grand father:" oh, ok! so now what's it like between you and granny?"

平時與奶奶感情並不怎麼融洽，並且經常爭吵的爺爺 冷 的說：「我跟你奶奶啊，我們現在只有口頭的性愛。」
fights often and not very well with the granny any more, the grand father replies: "me and your granny, we only have oral sex these days."

約翰不太了解的再問爺爺：「什麼是口頭的性愛啊？
Jo hn don't really understands and asks: "what's oral sex?"

爺爺說：「所謂口頭的性愛就是她進她的臥房，我進我 的 房，然後她大叫『F**K YOU ！』
Grand father says: "Oral sex is when she enters her room and I enter my room, and she shouts < F**K YOU!!>

而我也回應大吼『F**K YOU，TOO！』
and I shout back

Unknown "Where is Roger?" Evasive - 17 years, 2 days ago

( So the book says)

Yorkshire Terrier,
Yorkies for short~


Despite their elegance, refined shinning silky coat they have, they were breed back in the 18th century as hard working dogs to hunt the rats in the mines and the mills~

Unlike some other kind of dogs, Border Collies have the instinct to move sheep for humans, and Golden Retrievers willingly bring their humans birds.

Not terriers! They fearlessly go after ferocious game that might be bigger than they are.

Imagine the courage, and independence it took to go into the dark mine tunnel and face 100 hungry rats with sharp punishing claws and teeth!~

If you take your Yorkies out for a walk, you must be sure he's on a leash, because if he sees a cat or a squirrel, he'll forget you exist until they're done with the chase!

If you train your Yorkie like a terrier, using treats, toys and fun to teach them a lesson, you'll have a great relationship with your dog. If you expect immediate obedience just because you say a comment, you'll be locked in an eternal battle of wills with the Yorkie.

So, you must use your advantage as a human, a leader. you are smarter then them, but they are stronger then you in terms of will. You must out-smart them, instead of engage in the battle of will. No mere human being has ever truly won a battle of will with a 5-pound (2.3kg) Yorkie!

Imagine your self facing 100 mountain rats as big as you are in body size in a dark tunnel, then we can talk about determination and courage~ ( I guess some ppl do call't stubbornness if it's against their own interest. )

If you find yourself wanting to yell at your Yorkie, or if hitting them seems like a logical idea, take a newspaper, roll it up, and hit yourself over the head.
Say, "stupid human! Stupid, stupid, stupid human!" until you come to your senses~~
XD
Unknown "Where is Roger?" Evasive - 17 years, 2 days ago

交換食物/
Food exchange

兩個律師
Two lawyers

走進一家小餐館，
walks into a small restaurant,

叫了飲料，
ordered some drinks

然後從公事包內拿出三明治。
then took out some sandwiches from their briefcase.


餐館服務員說：
Restaurant waiter:

"對不起，
"Sorry,

你們不能在這裡吃自己帶來的食物"
You can not eat your own food in here."

律師對望一眼，
The lawyers glanced at each other,

無可奈何的聳聳肩，
lifted their shoulders in dismay,

然後交換了手上的三明治.......
and exchanged the sandwiches on their hands........

Unknown "Where is Roger?" Evasive - 17 years, 3 days ago

My little yorkie puppy is only with me for the 2nd week now, I don't have any experience in raising a pup, so I got my self some books to read on the breed, character, health and training informations. it's like raising a child for the first time, you want the best for them, but dont'e know what to do.

So as they say,
first child, you teach't like the book says
second child, you teach't like your feeling says
third child, you teach't like pigglets~
ha.

puppies are fun to watch.

once I watched as she was pottying, we were still testing what food was bast for her, and so she was having a little problem with hard stools and she was trying very hard for it to come out. after some time whining while pottying, she finished.

Then she turned around and started to bark at the stools as a child would discipline an item. .
we burst out laughing.. XD
XD
Unknown "Where is Roger?" Evasive - 17 years, 3 days ago