Hey...long time no see!!! I havent been on here forever, and so glad to see that you are all still sending me shit, and thinking of me!!!!!!!!!!
I wish I had more time to get back into this, but unfortunately, i do not!!

Unknown "Donna's sista" Calm - 15 years, 8 months, 22 days ago

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport. The pilot comes
on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into
Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy
your Stay in the Tampa Bay area".

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his
conversation from the cockpit. The copilot can be heard saying to the
pilot, "So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa?"

"Well," says the Skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a
big crap....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out
for dinner.... I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and
give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long. "

Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins
looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess
is that the pilot's talking about.

Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She
is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the
intercom off.

Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta land
the plane and take a shit first."

Unknown "Donna's sista" Calm - 16 years, 2 months, 12 days ago

This is not a joke, actually it is quite serious in my eyes.

There is a very scary thing going on in the schools right now that we
all need to be aware of.

There is a type of crystal meth going around that looks like strawberry
pop rocks (the candy that sizzles and 'pops' in your mouth). It also
smells like strawberry and it is being handed out to kids in school
yards. They are calling it strawberry meth or strawberry quick.

Kids are ingesting this thinking that it is candy and being rushed off
to the hospital in dire condition. It also comes in chocolate, peanut
butter, cola, cherry, grape and orange.

Please instruct your children not to accept candy from strangers and
even not to accept candy that looks like this from a friend (who may
have been given it and believe it is candy) and to take any that they
may have to a teacher, principal, etc. immediately.

Pass this email on to as many people as you can (even if they don't have
kids) so that we can raise awareness and hopefully prevent any tragedies
from occurring.


(Things like this really makes me wonder what my kids are in for when they get old enough to be out of my sight, and having to make some of their own choices. What kind of world did i bring them in to, when you have drugs that are looking like the candy you can buy at any store!)

Unknown "Donna's sista" Calm - 16 years, 2 months, 13 days ago

I had to take an emergency pit stop one day at the while driving last summer vacation.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the rest room; but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed:
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that?
At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"!

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.

"Can I come over?"
O.K., this question is just too weird for me; but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them:
"No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the person say nervously.....
"Listen, I'll have to call you back.
There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions.”


Unknown "Donna's sista" Calm - 16 years, 2 months, 13 days ago

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.



With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.



With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.



If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.



But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer/wine one year ago, drank all the beer/wine, then turned in the cans/bottles for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.



Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.


Unknown "Donna's sista" Calm - 16 years, 2 months, 20 days ago