You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

On your left side is a 'drop off', the ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are travelling on, and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also travelling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?















* Get off the merry-go-round - you're pissed.*
Unknown Naughty - 16 years, 9 months, 2 days ago

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.
We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"
She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.."
She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.
The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.
She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?"
She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."
If you're not sure what a 710 is either Click Here

Unknown Naughty - 16 years, 9 months, 28 days ago

It was a hot summer day on the bank of a little river at noon time. There was a fly hovering about 8 inches above the water - thinking - If I dropped down about four inches, the air closer to the water would be much cooler and life would be so much more bearable.

While this was going on there was a fish just under the surface looking up - thinking - if that fly drops down four inches it will be within range and I can jump out of the water and catch it and I'll have a fly for lunch.

Not far away in the bushes was a bear - thinking – if that fly goes down four inches, the fish will jump for the fly, and I will be able to grab the fish and have fish for dinner.

Just a little way up stream was a hunter sitting on a log having his lunch, and he was thinking - and if that fly goes down four inches, the fish will jump for the fly, the bear will jump for the fish, and in so doing he will expose himself and I will be able to shoot the bear.

Not far away was a little mouse, and he was thinking - if that fly goes down four inches, the fish will jump for the fly, the bear will jump for the fish, the hunter will drop his sandwich to shoot the bear, and I will be able to run off with the cheese from his sandwich, and have cheese for lunch.

Close by was a cat watching this and it was thinking - if that fly goes down four inches, the fish will jump for the fly, the bear will jump for the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the mouse will grab the cheese from his sandwich, and I will jump on the mouse and have mouse for lunch.

All was quiet for a moment --- then –

The fly dropped down four inches –

The fish jumped for the fly –

The bear jumped for the fish –

The hunter shot the bear –

The mouse grabbed the cheese –

And the cat jumped for the mouse ----

and missed - -

and fell into the river and drowned.

And the moral of this story is ----- Whenever a fly goes down four inches-- some pussy somewhere is in trouble.
Unknown Naughty - 16 years, 10 months, 22 days ago

If you can't agree on anything agree on nothing & save time!
Unknown Naughty - 16 years, 10 months, 22 days ago