One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, 'My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.'
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, 'Is that really true about your father?' 'No', the boy said, 'He works for the Republican National Committee and is trying to get John McCain elected to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the class.'
Unknown"FØ®§akéиPup"Loyal
- 15 years, 6 months, 23 days ago
I can not WAIT for this movie! Thumb me if you agree!! :))
Unknown"FØ®§akéиPup"Loyal
- 15 years, 8 months, 8 days ago
So there I was dangling helplessly, held tightly by a dangerous-looking fellow who smelled of musk and cigars. His grip tightened slightly and made me squirm. I wriggled a bit, trying to grab his meaty wrist and pull myself up (and possibly away), but to no avail. He had me and was not letting go. I figured it was best to tell him quickly and honesty what was going on.
The man laughed heartily without loosening his grip, and stuffing the stogie back in his mouth mumbled, "You're a riot, bub. But I'm afraid that I'm the friend the drunk in there is referring to. You see, he's my drinking buddy and I just came out here to water the daisies. Tell you what though, bub. I'll help a fella out and let ya go on the condition that ya don't 'borrow' things that ain't yours, OK?"
Without a thought I nodded in agreement. The man gave me such a hard stare that it sent shivers down my spine. He must have believed me because his arm slowly lowered to the ground and I was released. I tried to be polite and put my tiny paw in his big hand in a gesture of truce. He seemed to catch my meaning and we shook on it.
Suddenly, a loud crash was heard. The two inside must be making a mess of the place. "Better get myself inside and stop those boys from breaking my Precious Moments collection! S'cuse me, bub."
Then the man leapt in through the window as easily as a buck over a stream. But my claw must have caught the latch on his watch when shaking his hand and I was left outside holding his shiny wristwatch. I was not about to break my promise, but before I made a move the window busted outward as Ryan's body was hurled out across the yard and into a stack of old tires. He was down for the count for sure, and I started to feel bad for him. He just wanted his shirt back after all.
That's when it hit me. I hadn't noticed one of the tires heading right for me, and before I knew it I was swept up and rolling off inside it! This was not my lucky day.
Unknown"FØ®§akéиPup"Loyal
- 16 years, 2 months, 6 days ago
Now back to my story. Where was I? Oh yes... I remember now!
So there I was pinned by the visual daggers being thrown at me from Ryan's flushed and penetrating stare as the disheveled drunk wobbled over to my defense and stood between us.
"Stahppit! Whadda think ywar dooin?" (burp!) "Zis is mah house, dammit, and me and mah fwrend don wantcha here!"
Without breaking eye contact, I nodded my head in agreement. I swear I could see steam rising up around my bearded foe as his anger practically made his sweat evaporate as it poured from his toned, svelte figure.
My newfound friend's warning only seemed to annoy Ryan as he rolled his eyes and stepped forward assuredly. Thinking he could easily push aside the drunk and get to me, Ryan grabbed his opponent's shoulder. Surprisingly, the drunk was quicker than anticipated, and with heroic effort, caught Ryan's ankle with his own, throwing them both off-balance and onto the floor.
The two men started writhing around the place. As soon as Ryan would wriggle out of the stranger's hold, the drunk would immediately wrap himself back around and continue the struggle. However, this fight shook me back to my senses and gave me the opportunity I needed to get away. So up I hopped onto the window sill, and turned to blow a kiss good-bye to my savior, hoping it would bring him luck.
I leapt down onto the forest floor and was about to run for it when I was suddenly picked up by the scruff of my neck.
I strained to look around and saw a rough looking human with thick, hairy side burns and chomping on a cigar.
"Mind telling me where you're off to in such a hurry? Sounds like there's a problem here, bub!"
Unknown"FØ®§akéиPup"Loyal
- 16 years, 3 months, 3 days ago
...ahhhhh. Let the good times ROLL!
Unknown"FØ®§akéиPup"Loyal
- 16 years, 3 months, 4 days ago
