thnx for the bid :D

An interesting & meaningful story for you.
On the very first day of the world, God created the cow. He said to the cow:

"Ah Gu (cow), today I have created you! Your job is to go to the field with the farmer all day long. You will provide the energy to pull things!
You will also provide milk for people to drink!
You are to work all day under the sun. In return, you will eat only grass. For that you have a lifespan of 50 years."

Ah Gu objected.
"What!? I work all day under the sun and I can only eat grass?
On top of that I have to give my milk away!?
This is tough and you want me to live 50 years!? I'll take 20 and you can have the remaining 30 years back." God agreed.

The next day, God created the dog. He said to the dog.

"Ah Kow (dog), I have created you for a purpose. You are to sit all day by the door of your master's house. If anyone come in, you are to bark at them! In return, you will eat your master's leftover. I give you a lifespan of 20 years."

Ah Kow objected.
"What!? I have to sit at the door all day and bark at people, and i can only eat leftovers? This isn't right... I'll take 10 years and you can have the remaining 10 years back." God agreed again.

On the third day, God created the monkey. He said to the monkey.

"Lao Kao (monkey), your job is to entertain people. You will make them laugh, act stupid and make faces. You will also do somersaults and swing on trees to amaze them. In return, you will only eat bananas and peanuts. For that, I will give you 20 years."

Naturally the monkey objected.
"What!? I got to make faces and make people laugh? I still have to climb trees and do somersaults? Tell you what... I'll take 10 years, you can have the remaining 10 years back." God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created human. God said to the human.

"You are my best piece of work. For that you will only have to sleep, eat and play, sleep, eat and play and do nothing else. You will eat all the best things and play all the best toys. All you need to do is to enjoy life, and for this, I give you 20 years."

Just like the rest, human objected.
"What? I only have to relax and enjoy the best in life and I only have 20 years?
Tell you what. You got back 30 years from Ah Gu, 10 years from Ah Kow and 10 years from Lao Kao and you probably don't know what to do with all these lives. Why not I take all of them and have 70 years to live?"

Being a kind God, naturally He agreed.
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AND THAT IS WHY

We eat, sleep, play and enjoy the first 20 years of our lives when growing up.

Work for the next 30 years to raise the family.

Sit outside the door and bark at people for the next 10 years of our life when retired.

And finally make faces and perform monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren for the final 10 years of our lives.

GET IT?????

Reply to Jeremy

Dear Jeremy,

This is a very common problem men complain about is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is a " UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. In fact, Wife 1.0 is an "OPERATING SYSTEM " and designed by its creator to run everything. It is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program from the system once installed.

U cannot go back to GirlFriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install GirlFriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.

Look in your manual under WARNINGS. Alimony/Child Support. I recommend U to keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might suggest U read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). U must assume all responsibility for faults and problems might occur. The best course of action will be to push the apologize button then rest button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as U take the blame for all GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is great program but is very high maintenance.

(PS - Do not attempt to install illegal program like Mistress 1.0 which is currently circulating both in the local and overseas markets. Such programs once detected by Wife 1.0 will result unimaginable damages and cost of repair may incur very high fee and time not to mention emotional distress....)

Dear Sir,

Last year, I upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of such phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Karaoke-Hit 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but uninstall does not work on this program. Can U help me? Jeremy

Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to the other one "Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid... you don't believe?

Let me show you." and he called his driver Ah Beng over and said "Ah Beng, here is a 10 dollar note, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes." to which Ah Beng replied, "Yes Sir! right away!" and rushed off to the showroom.

The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you he was stupid." The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid." and he called his driver, Ali. "Ali, go home now and check to see if I'm at home." to which Ali said, "Yes Sir, right away Sir." and ran home. "See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here."

Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Ah Beng said to Ali, "Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and ask me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes..... Doesn't he know that today is Sunday lah, the showroom is closed!"

Ali replied, "You think he is stupid ah? My boss lagi worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home.... He got hand phone what, can just call up to check lah!!!!"

Thanks for the Pet.. nice to meet you ^^