Stock market definations 2:

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo
@ $240 per share.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
Unknown "~~panpan~~" Content - 15 years, 11 months, 29 days ago

What happen when China , Middle-East and other Asian sovereign wealth funds are asked to bail-out ailing global financial giants?

1. Lehman Brothers becomes Lee Brothers.
2. Merill Lynch becomes Merill Lim.
3. AIG becomes Abdulla International Group.
4. Morgan Stanley becomes Mohammad Stanley.
5. UBS becomes Union Bank of Singapore .
6. Freddie Mac becomes Faisul Mac.
7. Fannie Mae becomes Fan Nie Mei.
8. Bear Stern becomes Panda Bear.
9. Citi Bank becomes Siti Bank.
Unknown "~~panpan~~" Content - 16 years, 2 months, 2 days ago

CDC ALERT

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.

This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT! This virus will wipe out your private life completely!

If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
Unknown "~~panpan~~" Content - 16 years, 5 months, 1 day ago

Four Worms and a lesson


A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.


At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol - Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive


So the Minister asked the congregation -

What can you learn from this demonstration?


An old lady sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'

That pretty much ended the service

Unknown "~~panpan~~" Content - 16 years, 5 months, 9 days ago

VERY SIONG TEST! GCE 'O' levels Hokkien Exam !!!!! Test your Hokkien skills.

Instructions
1. Read the passage carefully
2. Grade yourself with the grading system at the end of the passage after reading.
3. Not that difficult, chin chai do lah

Section A : Orrler Exeminetion (60 marks)

Singalella why become rich. Koo zhar wu chee ay char bor kia, Singalella. She got two sisters, but the stepmarder hor, and the sisters hor, all damn kuai-lan, so she quite zhia-lat oso. Last time Singalella got own maid, but now she become the amah. Everyday must cooklah, cleanlah, rublah, massagelah, blow also simi sai mah pao-kah-liao. If her sister say liak kar zhuak, she liak. Tak jit zho kah tau-hin. CPF poon boh. Then no new shares oso No money to contribute S$50 ..cannot go out to bank also. But then, kay piak eh ah-pek got one son call Ah Ming got party. So he say, "oeh, long chong kee ah."

Singalella very happy because she never go party before but then her marder say, 'Lee Mana eh-sai kee, this one bahru your sisters wu standard. Then Singalella must zho sui-sui for her sisters and marder. Tap pai how, buay zhia, buay koon and buay pang-sai. That night she only can wave bye bye and then she go back to the kitchen and cook Maggimee.

Her neighbour came over and ask, 'Eh, an-zhua boh kee party?' So Singaalella kong, 'I-wan, lau bu kong buay-sai, so boh pian.' She never expect but the neighbour say, 'Aiyah, keelah, I give you money.' So singalella brush teef and zhang-zhui, chen-kor, after that look very different. She quickly run to opposite of the beh-chia-lor, already 11 o'clock at night olredi. At the party, Ah Ming also quite shien because the char bor all buay sui one. Dance floor even got one

ah pek dancing.
Just as Ah Ming told himself,'Aiyah see-pay zhia-lat' Singalella came in. Ah Ming straight away lau nuar.'Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng ah, chee kor buay pai.' Ah Ming say to Singalella, 'eh, sui eh, wah ai kah lee zho flen!' Singalella say Ok but Ah Ming like octopus, touch here touch there but then just it was 12 'clock one ah pek die on the dance floor. He become ghost and tell Singalella all the good 4D number So after that Singalella quickly go and buy 4D, and then tiok tau-pio, zhit-pak ban. So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh and then kah kee cho sen-lee. Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai.

GRADES: Gauge Your command of Hokkien
A1. Can understand the story and pronounce Hokkien correctly: Hokkien eh sai, bo beh zhao.
A2. Can understand half story and/or cannot pronounce Hokkien properly-zhia lat
E8. Don't understand story and/or catch no ball ? leow leow, mai ka lang kong you is Hokkien Singabolean
F9. Don't understand rating - kee see lah, wah mana eh zhai lee kong simi? Ah see lee bah lu gia A2, mian kee gia ritten exemanation

Unknown "~~panpan~~" Content - 16 years, 6 months, 2 days ago