i seriously dont quite know where to begin. everything is happening so fast. and i want some things to last because i really like them. a whole lott. but whenever i try and get with them, it never seems to happen bc my parents always are on my back about every little fuckin move to make. its not fuckin fair when i’m bitched at about something i dont do, or even when i try to do things and i cant communicate with others. what the hell am i supposed to do? because seriously there comes a time where i cant fuckin take it any fucking more. to tell you the truth, my life has become shit. no, its not fuckin drama, its the truth. but who the fuck cares? no one. not a single fucking soul. because when you really step into my shoes, you would take the entire weight of your family, your friends, and your love, stick it on your back, and try to win a boxing match.
try it. i wanna see you fail like i almost have.
for starters, i truely think i’m in love, pure hearted love, again. but i’m afraid to admit it because of what other people will think or react. not because i’m scared of reactions and being accepted, but because i’m afraid of being hurt again.
whenever i want to do something with friends, my parents bark "no". i do all of my homework, attempt to get good grades, basically take care of my little brother like his mother, and what do i get? a measly no. ok. i am slowly beginning to lose my sanity. i can’t have my phone, i can’t listen to my iPod, i cant hang out with my best friends, who in fact is scaring me to fuckin death, and i cant hang with my amazing boy. what am i supposed to do when the sanity is lost? i have no escape route. i can’t leave the presence of my parents without them bitching, hitting, or threatening. i cant do shit.
when i want something, im not allowed to have it. ever. and the things i want most are vital to me. like air. when i dont get them, i break down inside myself and cry. i cry till my insides are dead, have no more left. and it hurts to even look at myself and wonder, what the fuck did i do wrong this time?. i live everyday wondering if i’ll please my parents enough for a tiny reward. anything. i would take whatever they give me. well, mostly. but think to yourself, when you look at me, is that girl real? or is she already dead?
a little vent. please dont take this personally, and we will be fine.
its just.. skdhgfaskjhdg
Unknown "Sexy Tigress" Sad
- 16 years, 6 months, 21 days ago