A man was being interviewed for a job. "Were you in the service?" ask the interviewer.

"Yes, I was a Marine," responded the applicant.

"Did you see any active duty?"

"I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability."

"May I ask what happened?"

"Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles."

"You're hired. You can start Monday at 10 am."

"When does everyone else start? I don't want any preferential treatment because of my disability."

"Everyone else starts at 7 am but I might as well be honest with you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10. We just sit around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first."
Unknown "Amazing" Lonely - 16 years, 2 months, 13 days ago

Joke Of The Day
A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces. They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head. The wife asked the man, "Do you live here?" "No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little bottle. I am so grateful!" he answered. The wife asked, "Are you a genie?" "Oh, why yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, and the third I will keep for myself," the man replied. The husband and wife agreed on two wishes - one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever. The genie nodded his head and said, "Done!" The genie now said, "For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire." The husband and wife agreed. After the genie and wife were finished, the genie asked the wife, "How long have you been married?" To which she responded, "Three years." The genie then asked, "How old is your husband?" To which she replied, "31 years old" The genie then asked, "And how long has he believed in this genie crap?
Unknown "Amazing" Lonely - 16 years, 2 months, 13 days ago

Pick up lines... guys, use them wisely, don't use them to pick up girls, just use them to make them laugh... females like when a guy can hold a conversation, and when you start you should use some of them, but it's not always working, because you need to be funny, witty, original, and sincere. but pick up lines you can use just to make them laugh after they are comfortable with you, and don't fuck on your first date, even if she wants, be cause you'll loose her forever one day, life is not all about sex and plesure, even though females are sex addicts more than men...
Well, you'd remember this, and you'd be saying my name all the time, because i promise that the girl will tell you that you are not like any other men, I have that all the time, but it's only because I have good looks, and I am funny, witty, original, and sincere. but they want me only as a toy, because I am to cute, adorable, sexy, and good in bed, that is the only reason they want me to be their booty call... sux but hey, better have been loved than never been loved at all...
So good luck everyone... and cut the shit, let's change things around a little and make sex a little meaning full...
Serje...
1) First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
2) Guy: Sorry, but you owe me a drink.
Girl: Why?
Guy: I looked at you and dropped mine.
3) This isn't a beer belly. It's a fuel tank for a love machine.
4) You know what would look good on you? ME...!!!
5) You look familiar, come on how do I know you?? ahhh that's right - you were in my dreams.
6) I was wondering if you have a moment to spare for me to hit on you?
7) What's a sexy woman like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
8) Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
9) I'm new in town and can't find my way around; could I have directions to your place?
10) I may be no Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock.
Unknown "Amazing" Lonely - 16 years, 2 months, 13 days ago

1) Males, on avergae, think about sex every 7 seconds.
2) Humans are the only species on eaerth that have face-to-face sex.
3) Twenty-five percent of sexually active people engage in anal sex.
4) According to the World Health Organization, ther are approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day.
5) Every year, 11 000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual positions.
6) Humans and Dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
7) In the U.S, there is, on average, three sex change operations per day.
8) During the female orgasm, endorphines are released,which are powerful painkillers. So headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.
Unknown "Amazing" Lonely - 16 years, 2 months, 13 days ago