A professor was lecturing his English class one day.
"In English, a double negative forms a positive, such as the phrase "not unfamiliar". But in some languages such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language where a double positive can form a negative," said the professor.
A voice from the back of the classroom said, "Yeah, right."
An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
''Well, now,'' says the old lady, ''I guess I would like to be really rich.''
*** POOF *** Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
''And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess.''
*** POOF *** She turns into a beautiful young woman.
''Your third wish?'' asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. ''Ooh - can you change him into a handsome prince?'' she asks.
*** POOF ***
There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear, ''Bet you're sorry you had me neutered.''
