Amanda.
I write not to your present self but to the girl I fell in love with so many years ago, from a girl in your past who no longer exists.

It is the night before I fly out to meet you for the first time and I can't stop crying. I don't know why. My friends mutter worried prayers over my head and it is everything I can do not to run away. An unbearable sadness weighs on my shoulders. Tomorrow I will step alone onto a plane and never be the same again. Fear and jealousy will overwhelm our amazing love. You will grow resentful of my dependence on you. I will mistreat you, even though it will break my heart every time you cry. We will forget how to trust each other, even though you will always be trustworthy. During the last half year of our relationship we will be more distant than strangers. I will slowly lose my mind and eventually cheat on you. We will end in tears, only 3 years after we fell so completely in love. I can't believe what I'm saying but I've seen into the future and it's true. I can't believe myself. Can't believe that I am capable of being such an ugly person to you. You're my girl, my penguin. All I want to do is step off of that plane tomorrow, give you my first kiss and love you with every fiber of my being in person as I do now in mind and spirit. All of these forebodings I know not consciously, not yet, but by an unshakable feeling of dread in my gut.
"So don't go." Holly's voice as I sob into her shoulder on the cold ground. I look up at the night sky and feel your presence with me somehow, slowly shake my head. "No." I will go even though I am terrified, even though I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I will stay even though it will be the greatest mistake of my life as it will destroy our love. I will go because, in this moment, in the heart of a 19 year old girl, you are the most beautiful thing in my life. I will go to you because you want me there with you and you are the last person I will believe when you say that all we need is love. I will go because I do love you, Amanda, and just touching your face will be worth everything. Just please, remember me as I am now and not as the person I become, because that girl won't even be worth knowing. Remember our long late night chats. Our first phone call, when you made me shy. Remember whatever you saw in me that was beautiful, whatever you fell in love with me for in the first place. The girl you loved will only become a ghost, but in these long forgotten exchanges of text and in our memories, this girl will always, always love you.

Back to the present.
It's time to let you go.
Thank you for saving my life.
I'm sorry for everything.
I'm so fucking proud of you.
There's so much more than could ever be said, so I'll let it lie. You know the rest.
Goodbye, baby.

You have been given ♥Bubbles Of Love On Ur Page♥. Crafted by Liza

got your tales

Cheerz! I have decide'd to sleep upon my giant idea an we shall see if tomorrow night, tiz night inwhich I move about, de Vamp I am, I might just steal you both- Sweet dreamz.

You have been given Glass of Blood, freshly drained. Crafted by Vampy Kitty

So... Thiz is what happened! I somehow came across your gf'z page an of course, I need a Pirate for de Castle! Butz, I read an I find she iz in love'z wit you! So, then I thought well, I must steal you both!!! De Castle needz a Pirate... part of me had wish'd you were a Shark, but, alas, I cannot see de image of what you are butz, still, I wantz de Pirate, so, I have decied'd in my mind dat de right thing to do would be stealn' BOTH of you an hav'n you two live within' mah Castle! Soundz good, right? Tiz purrrfection, de Castle needz a Pirate, andz! would be rOckn' to have a happy couple in de Castle too.

You have been given Flying. Crafted by Elise the Red Fox

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