Some background to the tale below, where at the end I make a dig at the single men my age.

It started with the many dates I've been on this year, the short term relationships, and ended with my favourite rep who services our technical equipment at work. We have known each other professionally for 4 years. Over the last few months, quite a good friendship has formed, and some surpisingly intense chemistry that I felt. I put the chemistry aside for most of that time, deeming it unprofessional and inappropriate. When I got the news of his father dying though, I realised I had such feelings for this guy that I wept a little on his behalf.

Eventually we kept talking about getting together for some drinks, and we did this after a conference we were both at 2weeks ago. There was a big group of us, so it wasn't like a date at all, and I went along to have some fun and without much expectation. I found out that he was married for 7 years, and he discovered when his wife was pregnant that she had been having an affair for 2 years - DNA testing was done to determine the father, and it was his. The boy is only 15 mths old. I had little expectations due to what he's been through so recently.

None the less, we hit it off that night, danced, embraced, kissed, kissed, kissed.. and he took me back to his hotel room. I was hesitant to go, but found myself firmly led. Oh well, I thought he must have his shit together. The night was spent in constant physical connection, without sex (I stopped that happening, in my wisdom..) and in the morning he embraced me as I was leaving, kissed me on the forehead, and said "we should do this again soon".

The following week, he rang me often. Come the weekend, he couldn't do anything cos he had his son and his son was sick. The next week, I didn't hear from him at all, til the end of the week, when he rang to say he wasn't up for this, it was all too soon, (mind you he was able to see a girl earlier this year for a few months, but apparently she messed up his head too) and he went to great lengths to explain "the space" he's in right now. And basically, that space hasn't got room in it for me.

At first I was compassionate and understanding, then I got upset, hurt, then angry at the women who did this to him, then angry at him! Why did he even start something? Surely he knew what "space" he was in the week and months before? when he took me to his room? when he attempted sex?

He's 37, I'm 35. I've been through some very bad stuff myself, am also a divorcee, have also been cheated on, have been raped, have been abused.. but I don't carry it around with me.. I leave it in the past where it belongs and move foward.

I live in the Now, say what I mean and mean what I say. Is that so hard to do?


Unknown "Beauty" Purring - 16 years, 4 months, 1 day ago

My girlfriend of 37 and myself 35, have been surprised that noone in our own age group gives us any attention when we're out! All the guys who approach us are aged between 19 and 23!! (yes, we asked them all how old they were - I mean, gosh, some of them look so young they could be my other son) When we told them our ages, we had a mixed bag of reactions.

"Oh my God, no way!!! You ladies don't look that old!! But sorry, um, okay, well have a great night, we'll move on"
"We don't care how old you are!! Come on, look at the girls our age here, they look shit, and you two look HOT.
And you're nice to us - the girls our age are bitches" (I can confirm that by what I hear in the Ladies Room)
"Oh come on, please, please, please, you two are so hot, you're beautiful.. we don't care... come on...."

Hmmm.
I was discussing this with my female colleagues, who thought "go for it girl!" and my male colleagues who thought "I wouldn't have cared at that age either!"

Okay, I've yet to find a single man in my age group who doesn't carry around some horrible baggage, one who will return a call or message reliably, one who hasn't been shattered by a total bitch and is still trying to sort his head out, etc. The good ones actually tell me that they don't want to lead me on and this is their problem...
So.. last night I thought anyone over 20 is fine, I'll give it a go. I met a gorgeous guy, we had instant chemistry, we danced, pashed, laughed, sang along to the band in each others' arms, carefree, he picked me up and swung me around, and was very sensuous. We sat down and talked - no baggage! And he's 21.

When I tell him I'm 35, he nearly falls off his chair, eyes popping out of his head "No way... no way! I'd have put you at 25-27... You're so gorgeous! ..l don't care about age it's just a number". We exchanged phone numbers.

I texted him this afternoon, thanked him cos I had so much fun with him, and told him he is gorgeous, and asked if he'd freaked out about my age. I get back "I had lots of fun too. I think you are the most beautiful woman I've ever met, and I'd love to keep you feeling young".


Nice line, I know. I liked it though. It was so refreshing to have that totally in the "now" experience, with no holding back, no agendas, no fear. No listening to what the ex-wife did, and the next girl did, and the next girl did...


Unknown "Beauty" Purring - 16 years, 4 months, 3 days ago

Here's an example of LOVE! I work at an eye specialists' clinic, and recently an old man was told the devasting news that he was going to go blind and there was nothing we could do.. he won't be able to read or watch TV, that's how bad it's going to get. He was understandably very distressed and upset, and as he and his wife were waiting for a cab near the front entrance, I overheard his wife say in a warm tender voice: "Don't worry darling, when you can't see to watch the TV anymore, I won't watch it either". We all got a tear in our eye and said "now that's love!"
Unknown "Beauty" Purring - 16 years, 8 months, 16 days ago