It felt like the Twilight Zone yesterday as one of my best friends, Sonata, and I took a stroll through Vancouver Robson Downtown. We both couldn't help but notice the unflattering splotches of bright oranges, blues, and greens in baggy clothes in each fashion boutique store. Was this just Vancouver fashion? Please let this stay in Vancouver and not spread worldwide, I thought to myself.

Sonata suddenly bursted out laughing, and I turned to see what she found was so extraordinarily funny. Lo and behold, it was a sparkling purple jogging pants made in plastic - the 80's cartoon show "Rainbow Brite" came to my mind. Who would in their right mind, purchase those horrid pair of glittering rubber pants? Vancouver is saturated enough with girl clones decked out in Lululemon and Aritzia, but sparkling jogging wear? I shuddered as I accidentally conjured up the imagery of girls in twinkling rubbery sweatsuits clawing at each other, fighting over petty things as their stomach fat bulged and bounced over their too-tight waistlines. "I call this style: Rainbow Brite Meets Michelan Man," I thought. Perish the thought.

We passed by another window and it showed long-sleeved tops, turtlenecks, and dresses in silver disco print - literally as if a gutted disco ball was stitched together to make these repulsive clothes. "I call this style: Grandma Goes Nightclubbing," I joked.


We also came across some rather unsexy heels. Pairs of stilettos and high heels imitating bowling shoes and Lucky Charms cereal were not my idea of vintage, nor beautiful.


When we went into an upscale chain boutique (name undisclosed), we did a doubletake. Rows of bright orange, yellow, and neon greens splashed with white polka dots and squares, blinded us from every side. There were also some cartoon reds and blues embroidered in silk and lace. Every single piece of satin, silk, and cotton was cut out in a baggy style. I picked up an Extra Small-sized yellow top with bright green pattern; it was a tent that could swallow the Russian Circus! She also pointed out that the customer service representatives were not wearing the current outfits in their own stores, and shoppers were not leaving these boutiques with any purchases. Ironically, everyone looked grim in every one of these bright-rainbow boutiques.


Sonata put it bluntly, "It looks like a clown threw up in here!" Of course! That must be it... who else would have designed this season's fashion trend...


...but Ronald McDonald himself! I look forward to being amused by the spectacle of female clowns parading around the streets this year.
Unknown "Rose fashion" Loving - 16 years, 10 months, 1 day ago