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Onur Caglar | HumanPets.com - Free online hangout and friends
rebin
rebin owns this human at 70 points.
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Onur Caglar
Onur Caglar
"99999999 pts"



Name:
Onur Caglar, 41/Male
Last login: over 3 weeks ago
Local time:11:44 AM
Join date:10 years, 24 days ago
Location: istanbul Turkey

About me:
looking for fun and new friends, sailing all around the world
About you:
Looking for: Friendship
Orientation: Straight

Unknown
Unknown
"Deb"
5000 pts
Onur's tales
1 2 Next
Onur Caglar
A pirate at the local bar discusses his past
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"

Onur Caglar "99999999 pts" Inspired - 9 years, 1 month, 6 days ago
Onur Caglar
I know you were drunk yesterday
A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk. After leaving the bar, he returns home on foot.

When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs though, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his back. That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke; the broken glass carved up his back terribly. Yet, he was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt.

A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up terribly. He then repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed.

The next morning, his head was hurting, his back was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.

"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?"

"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."

"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered last night. Where did you go?"

"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"

"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."
Onur Caglar "99999999 pts" Inspired - 9 years, 1 month, 6 days ago
Onur Caglar
Looking to buy a frog?
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
Onur Caglar "99999999 pts" Inspired - 9 years, 1 month, 6 days ago
Onur Caglar
Buying a chainsaw
This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day."

So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?" the man asks himself. "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day," the man tells himself. So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords.

The man is convinced this is a bad saw. "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself.

The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, "Hmm, it looks fine."

Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, "What's that noise?
Onur Caglar "99999999 pts" Inspired - 9 years, 1 month, 6 days ago
Onur Caglar
What is your name?
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."

"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How in hell does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.

The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner."

The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me...is right here," replies the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"

"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say,'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'"

"I say Sem Ting."
Onur Caglar "99999999 pts" Inspired - 9 years, 1 month, 6 days ago
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Comments

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abcdefg

Hey stranger! You have been given Hey stranger!.
Crafted by abcdefg
abcdefg "Ms Strings" Content - 2 years, 8 months, 24 days ago
grace andrew

by grace
Dearest one, My name is grace, I am very happy to view your profile here today,as I'm interested in knowing you.reply me through my private email address at ( graceandrew001@hotmail.com ) so that i can write you and send you my picture. Yours truly grace
yyuuuuuuuuuuuu
grace andrew - 3 years, 7 months, 22 days ago
Maire
Have a beautiful day..
enjoy every moment! You have been given enjoy every moment!.
Crafted by becky
Maire "Sandgroper" Dancing with the surf - 7 years, 1 month, 10 days ago
Maire

follow your dreams You have been given follow your dreams.
Crafted by becky
Maire "Sandgroper" Dancing with the surf - 7 years, 1 month, 11 days ago
bye bye

Welcome to your new Home You have been given Welcome to your new Home.
Crafted by Unknown
bye bye "my sighed" - 8 years, 9 months, 23 days ago
Nobody

You have been given Halloween Treats.
Crafted by Dawn
Nobody "Spirited" Jou ma se moer - 9 years, 23 days ago
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Onur's shop
o-mart

requisitions will be supplied shortly

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shoulder massage
1 use

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shoulder massage
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thai massage
1 use

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thai massage
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french kiss
1 use

2000 pts
french kiss
Bought by 1 people
bath with petals and champagne
1 use

1500 pts
bath with petals and champagne
Bought by 6 people
sex on the beach
1 use

350 pts
sex on the beach
Bought by 0 people
caressed
1 use

1500 pts
caressed
Bought by 12 people
flirtatious kiss
1 use

750 pts
flirtatious kiss
Bought by 4 people
passionate kiss
1 use

1000 pts
passionate kiss
Bought by 2 people
kiss at sunset
1 use

2500 pts
kiss at sunset
Bought by 3 people
a trip to india
1 use

1000 pts
a trip to india
Bought by 1 people
romantic gondola trip at venice
1 use

1000 pts
romantic gondola trip at venice
Bought by 0 people
swimming with the dolphins
1 use

500 pts
swimming with the dolphins
Bought by 1 people
walking under the full moon
1 use

1500 pts
walking under the full moon
Bought by 0 people
seafood platter
1 use

1000 pts
seafood platter
Bought by 1 people
trip to norway fjords
1 use

2000 pts
trip to norway fjords
Bought by 3 people
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