The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.


The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.


The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love for you.


The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.


He never has made you cry
Or hurt you in any way
Oh, fuck this stupid poem
The perfect man is gay.


Unknown "sexy" Gloomy - 15 years, 10 months, 29 days ago

24 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION: 'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC: ' Because I said so, that's why.'
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC: 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT: 'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY: 'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: 'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA: 'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER: 'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE: 'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION: 'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: 'Just wait until we get home.'
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING: 'You are going to get it when you get home!'
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE: 'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'
18. My mother taught me ESP: 'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
19. My mother taught me HUMOUR: 'When that lawn mower cuts off your foot, don't come running to me.'
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: 'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
21. My mother taught me GENETICS: 'You're just like your father.'
22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS: 'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'
23. My mother taught me WISDOM: 'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.' 24. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE: 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.'
Unknown "sexy" Gloomy - 16 years, 6 months, 6 days ago

Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.'

The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me Sex. That Makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.'

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: 'I do what You say and I feel Great. I be at work soon.........You got nice house!'

Unknown "sexy" Gloomy - 16 years, 6 months, 8 days ago

THE NEW SCHOOL PRAYER
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen !
Unknown "sexy" Gloomy - 16 years, 6 months, 17 days ago

Ok a few more items came back today, but now I see that ALL the stuff I had in my inventory from buying from other shops are GONE!
Unknown "sexy" Gloomy - 16 years, 6 months, 19 days ago