I'd love some feedback on the following piece of writing... Please let me have your thoughts



She sits on the bed, which is pushed right into the corner the only sound is the burn of her cigarette as she inhales, the only light is the from the television that is turned on but it has no picture. She sits with her back against the cold wall her one leg tucked underneath her, only wearing knickers and tank top. Her eyes are staring in to the semi darkness her mind miles away her thoughts a million a second she thinks…He always said she thinks too much ….she laughs at this thought, stares off in the distance again as she sees the thoughts pass in front of her minds eye

Her thoughts slow down and eventually stop, on him. She’s obsessed with thoughts of him. All her waking moments are filled with thoughts of him. The way he smells the way he used to touch her that even now leaves her wanting him, the way he used to take her breath away when they kissed the way she was always in control, until he took it all away from her, but she submitted willingly to feel him bring her to the edge and push her right over.

Unknown Ecstatic - 16 years, 6 months, 25 days ago

some of my favourite pictures of the Aurora Borealis
Unknown Ecstatic - 16 years, 6 months, 25 days ago

but beauty is in the eye of the beer holder....
Unknown Ecstatic - 16 years, 6 months, 25 days ago

it's something special for all of those in love - i'm sure you'll appreciate the sentiment
Unknown Ecstatic - 16 years, 6 months, 25 days ago

I’m in love with a man I’ve never met
I’m in love with love
I’m in love with life

I know his voice yet have not hear
I know his touch yet have not felt
I know his kiss yet have not tasted

I’m in love with a man I have not met
I’m in love with my immortal
I’m in love with my unborn son

I know his heart beats with mine
I know his hand reaches for me
I know his eyes look in to my soul


I’m in love with a man I have not met
I’m in love with his universe that is mine
I’m in love with him, as it’s against my nature to not be
I’m in love with a man I have not met

Lake


Unknown Ecstatic - 16 years, 6 months, 25 days ago