As you all pretty much know I'm moving out on monday and I'm pretty much not going to be online for a really long time cause I don't need it lol >..< if you lucky enough to have my cell good for you and if you know where I'm going....stop following me? O-o but yes I'm leaving next friday March 22nd FINALLY k thx bai

~<3 Care


p.s.

I know this is like the new thing to do BUT I'm basically cutting myself off from HP the life I used to have has gone *poof* I only make friends through a computer screen and its painful to the point of me taking it out on myself I do not like the person this site has turned me into, grouchy, never happy, inflicting pain on myself just to see if I can feel it....I'm just not the same person I used to be before I joined this site....I was actually happy even in this shit hole of a place I was making friends but I blocked them out because all I could think about was getting online to talk to the friends I made on here...don't get me wrong I love most of the people I've met but others have hurt me and shaken me to the core and basically gave me the last push to get off this site...on the friday I leave california to live with jessica I will also be leaving this site behind for good, I will be one of those people who occasionally shows up randomly because I'm sick or have a day off or someone asks me to get online....I did some things today that really also opened my eyes to the person I hate that is me now...I need to get off this site so I don't go down the same path that my grandparents and great aunts do....so I'm going to exit out of firefox, and internet browsers put my msn on busy and go talk to my family, they haven't seen the old me in a long time, and I think they deserve to see their daughter before she leaves them and hurts them...One week to not fuck up....

I love all the people I've met on this site no matter how much you've hurt me, I still care, but I need off so I bid you goodbye

contact me by my phone if your lucky enough to have it....and don't ask my pets for it

<3
Carezilla "c" Ferocious - 15 years, 9 months, 1 day ago

Just to prove that I love my pets I am making signed pictures before I disappear for a bit lol ^_^"
Carezilla "c" Ferocious - 15 years, 9 months, 13 days ago

You remember that one girl? The one that would always make statements beyond her doing? Well I'm different after I finally get this ticket paid off I'm going straight to work to put in my two weeks notice..pack up slowly....drop my brother off that morning....shove everything I can into my car....Wish my brother a good life and say goodbye but not for the last time....and drive off into the distance towards my future....I need to get to someone who truly knows me don't get me wrong people here get me but not my past...It's far too scary or harmful to their guarded brains that have been formed to consume as much material things as possible...especially events this week have really kicked my ass into gear...someone saying I could fuck up and lose my best friend low blow...but hey doesn't matter anymore because I'm going to be happy and no longer miserable living with my BEST friend helping as many people as I can...and also I must say HP has helped me keep my sanity while I have been hiding away in Cali but once I get to texas I will be growing up even more...and getting away from the relationships that emerge on this site..I'm not bashing those who fall in love over the internet...trust me its happened to me a couple times and it always withers away in some drama induced fight not worth my time or energy....SOOOOOO if you have my contact info txt me (don't call not unless I call you), my internet will be non-existent for a while...I shall disappear from the site that helped me keep my somewhat sanity for about a year now....to have a life beyond the internet because the internet turned me into someone I can't stand :} so I bid all of you goodbye you can watch the exhaust leave me car as I drive into the future and away from those who have hurt me :}

~<3 Care
Carezilla "c" Ferocious - 15 years, 9 months, 21 days ago

As you all know I edit pictures of people whenever I get bored or feel like torturing them or when ever I find a picture worth screwing around with soooo heres a couple examples :D
Carezilla "c" Ferocious - 15 years, 9 months, 22 days ago

Slow breathing
Slumber under the careful watch of someone she trusts with her life
She hears a zipper and feels a cold hand press against her
Her eyes open up and she watches as he tries to take her barriers off
Tears swell up and her throat threatens to close up as she screams words at him
She grabs the clothes he threw on the floor
And runs past his family who passes judgement
The burning tears don't help her sinking heart as she runs to the last person she trusts
With her wounded heart
With her wounded life.....



Thats right its time for another rant

For all of you who don't know already get your shocked faces on I'm a virgin BIG DEAL

I'm breathing
I'm able to eat
I can go out with people and be normal
Being a virgin isn't some disease that needs to be cured right on the spot right there or you will perish after the age of 16 well there goes that stupid theory of yours I'm 19 so whats your point?

First of all I'm tired of people acting so shocked seriously its not me telling you I'm dying its a personal choice helped out by a past. Just because I'm somewhat attractive or whatever it is you call me doesn't mean I need to PUT OUT. Yes I may be a bitch but its only cause you effing assume that I WANT you I NEED you to help me out. I don't need ANYONE, except the people who truly understand me and my past and its stories.

I don't care how many times you hit on me, I'm not going to strip and put my body out there for you to see, thats choice don't like it? keep moving on because no matter how many times you call me a skank or whore or anything to try to get me so depressed that I will bow to your every word or command. Two words to that : FUCK THAT.

K I'm so tired of some people if I stop talking to you its ON PURPOSE I don't care if you call me a bitch go ahead and join the hoards of people. You are the reasons why I am this way I am this way to protect myself from the groups of assholes that I'm around all day everyday....

And this b.s. about I love you...that is not the three words that make me want you, yes I love you to but I don't want to love all of you SORRY. and the fact that you persist with the I love you's and the sorry's makes me feel disgust towards you :}

So to all who take this as a shock don't even bother talking to me I'm a virgin and could care less I want to lose my V card to someone who doesn't pressure me or think saying three words will be their pass, to someone who CARES past a computer screen.

K THANKS BAI
~<3 Care
Carezilla "c" Ferocious - 15 years, 9 months, 28 days ago