At long last -- we are moved into the new place. New house, new town, new state...I'm slowly getting to NOT being tired all the time. Things are being accomplished one by one. I have a huge collection of empty boxes now...
Unknown "Sweetie" Sleepy - 16 years, 5 months, 22 days ago

Have I been this tired before? Possibly. However, remembering would take energy, and I have none.
Unknown "Sweetie" Sleepy - 16 years, 6 months, 21 days ago

I'm having fun creating a shop of things no one will want. I thought at first of creating a shop with "books", but that seemed complicated. Since I also make jewelry, I thought about using pictures of what I make, but my photos aren't glamorous enough. Then I searched. Sparkly Things!

Still exploring. It's not always easy to make a comment on a profile I find interesting, especially for a woman. Much here is highly sexualized and I'd hate to have my overtures misinterpreted, since (aside from intense flirting and innuendo, perhaps a fantasy or some roleplaying within strict boundaries) I am not here for those reasons. So many an interesting person gets at most a pet.

And sometimes, a person is so beautiful in their picture I am just too intimidated to do anything. Isn't that an odd thing? To be intimidated by a photo, and from there to imagine rejection.
Unknown "Sweetie" Sleepy - 16 years, 6 months, 25 days ago

I'm stunned at how I react when someone buys one of my pets. At first I am angry, for something I liked has been taken (especially when the pet comes from the adoption center). Then i am vindictive and I begin plotting how to re-acquire my pet. I imagine myself hating the person who took the pet.

Only one actual friend has ever been bought this way, and I got him back after some pouting at the other friend who did it. And I'm considering giving him back because, well, when I'm ASKED I almost always will agree.

It's the taking without asking that bothers me most.

And I wonder what it is that makes me fight so hard for these imaginary pets, often people I don't even know or barely know. Is it just that odd quality of possessiveness humans have? "This is mine, not yours!" Territoriality.

Games like this bring it out, along with a certain quality of greed.
Unknown "Sweetie" Sleepy - 16 years, 6 months, 26 days ago

I keep pondering -- as I flip through random profiles -- what it is that makes me consider spending those funny little points to "acquire" some stranger as a "pet". Even more, I wonder what it is that makes me bid high when someone takes one of my coveted "pets".

Often it is a face I see that makes me wonder what goes on behind the eyes. Sometimes it is a momentary attraction. Occasionally the face doesn't matter so much as the words typed into the profile (spelling counts, as does grammar!). Then there are a magic few who have everything in combination and I'm struck. I take a chance that the picture and words are extensions of a person who will talk with me. I venture out of my silence. I "buy" or I leave a comment. Sometimes I merely pet and go on. It's always a risk, even if only inside my head -- being ignored, being rejected, being dismissed, somehow being made worthless by a gesture or a lack of gesture. All of life in miniature.

I wonder, too, what causes others to act as they do. Some might be here for the joy of acquisition, because this is the biggest, most unique shopping mall ever. Some look for love (of any or particular duration) or admiration. The ideas of owning and being owned (in this limited and very safe environment) has appeal on many levels.

Eventually, I expect I will take from this experience whatever it is I can, my interest will wain, and I will wend my fickle way in some other direction. Perhaps I'll have a few friends well worth the risk who will continue with me.
Unknown "Sweetie" Sleepy - 16 years, 6 months, 27 days ago