O.O O.o o.O I just scheduled myself to take a trip! I'm not going to be here home for a weekend for a change and well somewhere I've been before but hadn't thought I'd get back to for a while. *shivers* I am so wired at the moment, can't believe this puppy is going. Aaaahh!!! *prances about and runs in hyper circles around things* Oh.... I'm scared and thrilled someone please help me? Don't know if this was the right time for it but well it's done.... *shiver* Jeez......... I'm so all over the place. Good thing I haven't tripped yet.
Unknown "Heart" Loving - 16 years, 5 months, 26 days ago

Thank you very much to the wind that dried my tears tonight. Though most likely they'll never catch this, I wanted to say it for all to know. Thank you for being there when I ran out of strength to keep fighting and hadn't anyone else to turn to or trust.
Unknown "Heart" Loving - 16 years, 7 months, 5 days ago

Ha ha........ apparently I love too much........ Oh joy....... and it's going to be the bane of my existence. o.O Or possibly seem that way when I start getting into a dark mood. I put others happiness over my own, and do anything so that they can be but mine gets run off.... Oh well, makes me a loyal pup then doesn't it? Loving and nonjudgemental no matter what. *sigh* Trusted companion, but always on the sidelines...... rrrrifff. Bleh, oh well, I don't care so why should they, perhaps that type of happiness was never meant to be mine.
Unknown "Heart" Loving - 16 years, 7 months, 5 days ago

So much for any more sleep this morning likely. Amazing how real dreams can be sometimes or not. This one involved family and the forum I hang out on of digital friends with a few I actually know. It reflected things I wish I could say somewhat in real life and current fears and worries. Shed a few tears upon waking, but felt numb at first. Amazing, simply amazing though how lucid they can be. This one, my life, currently in a nutshell. Truth is always best, but it sure seems my dreams can go for things that wound the most, not just my conscious mind. No guardian friends this time. It's only words, thoughts, but how they can actually feel like a knife wound to the heart many times. Hope of any kind sure doesn't go down easily, it lingers, grows even when you think it's not there and truly want it to be gone.

Anyway, enough. So little sleep so far, hopefully this allows me to sink back into oblivion for a bit now. Don't in general like telling people details, but then it's unlikely my friends will read this, know I was upset. A few strangers might and fleetingly sympathize, but this is just digital. A few random packets in the onslaught of of information. So here what does it matter, other than providing me my normal outlet of writing. Remembered by strangers for a moment for my words, then gone..... Nothing in the long run to them, but then sometimes.... it's even so for those you know and called friends for a long time too.
Unknown "Heart" Loving - 16 years, 7 months, 17 days ago

Yup, yup at it again, this time spreading my wings to fly of the leash and have a bit of fun, didn't feel like being that high priced... Still a sick puppy, but at least I felt halfway decent for a little while this morning though now I'm just wanting to curl up and sleep again. Oh well, more work to be done, though at least I get to do so to my own tune and was pleasing people a bit. Well, as always got to run again.
Unknown "Heart" Loving - 16 years, 7 months, 20 days ago