Things Which Women Like to hear


1. THE DOCTOR : because he says :
"Take off your clothes"

2. THE DENTIST : because he says :
"Open wide"

3. THE HAIRDRESSER : because he says :
"Do you want it teased or blown?"

4. THE MILKMAN : because he says :
"Do you want it in the front or the back?"

5. THE INTERIOR DECORATOR : because he says :
"Once it's in, you'll love it"

6. THE STOCK BROKER: because he says:
"It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while and then slowly fall back again"

7. THE BANKER : because he says :
"If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest"

8. THE HUNTER : because he says :
"I go deep in the bush, shoot twice and always eat what I shoot"

9. THE AT&T GUY : because he says :
"Would you like it on the table or against the wall?"



Unknown "Sexy Queen" Peaceful - 16 years, 2 months, 14 days ago

The Drunk Man


Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. This man came in, he was already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table.

He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, "I went by your grandma's house and I saw her in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is fine!"

The biker looked at him and didn't say a word. His buddies were confused, because he was a bad ass, and would fight at he drop of a hat.

The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker still said nothing. His buddies were starting to get mad.

The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I'll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!"

The biker stood up, took the drunk by the shoulder and said, "Damn it, grandpa, you're drunk. Go home!"


Unknown "Sexy Queen" Peaceful - 16 years, 2 months, 14 days ago

YES


A blonde is on her honeymoon when her new husband asks, "baby am I your first?"
She replied "Why does everyone always ask me that?
YES!"



Unknown "Sexy Queen" Peaceful - 16 years, 2 months, 14 days ago

Cowboy and a lesbian


An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. As I watch TV, or even eat, I think about women. Everything seems to make me think about women."

The two sat sipping in silence. A short time later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."


Unknown "Sexy Queen" Peaceful - 16 years, 2 months, 17 days ago

A Chinese and a Hollywood director


A Chinese went into a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter he was amazed to see that he was sitting next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg.

After a round of beer the Chinese sensed that the famous director was glaring at him. Suddenly in a flash the Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious punch from the director. Picking himself up he yelled, "What the hell was that for?" The director ranted, "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbour, My dad perished in that bombing!". "I am not Japanese. I am Chinese!". "Yeah yeah yeah..... Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, You are all the same." retorted Spielberg.

Regaining his composure, the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender. A few seconds later the Chinese turned round, and delivered a mighty punch to the director, sending him flat onto the floor. "What was that for?", exclaimed the director. "That's for sinking the 'Titanic'. I had ancestors on that ship!", the Chinese replied. "You ignorant man, Titanic was sunk by an iceberg!", shouted the director.
"Yeah yeah yeah.....Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg...you are all the same!!".


Unknown "Sexy Queen" Peaceful - 16 years, 2 months, 17 days ago