we got a fruit basket at work today.... the fruit basket is a very weird thing to get.... it gives us the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without looking like a mental case.... if someone just mailed you an orange, you'd be like "what the hell?".. but if the fruit is in a group and sitting in a basket we're like "awesome!"...
Unknown - 16 years, 9 months, 3 days ago

Three blokes walk into a pub..................... well, I say three, but it could be five….. let’s make it 10, alright then 50 blokes walk into a pub, we may as well round it up now, 100 blokes then, 1,000? 50,000?, 780,000? ok, the population of eastern Europe, cant leave it there, people will think I’m racist, Eurasia then, no? how bout the entire male population of the northern hemisphere walks in to a pub! Well we may as well not be elitist, the southern hemisphere too then, screw it! Every bloke in the world walks into a pub, the first bloke says “first round’s on me”……what an idiot.
Unknown - 16 years, 10 months, 2 days ago

You know, sometimes i wonder if celebrities give a shit what "I'm" wearing... i stand there at the register in the supermarket reading the covers of the magazines thinking... "what if celebrities have mags that depict our lives?" they could call it 'Normal' and it would have pictures of us random plebs picking our noses, scratching our arses, going down to the shops to pick up some milk, you know, stuff like that... also, on the whole "scratching the itch" topic, how much would it suck to be a celeb and have an itch to scratch while in public? i wouldnt be able to resist, i'd be like ''screw the gossip column, i've got an itch on my left cheek that needs some serious attending to..... ohhh yeeeeah, thats the spot...." i guess freedom has its price...
Unknown - 16 years, 10 months, 2 days ago