I dreamed of you last night. this was i must confess the second dream in which i've seen you, but this was not like the first dream then you were a passing face, but this time... this time the entire night was dedicated to you...

Strange isn't it considering I haven't seen you in so very long, that i should have memorized every detail of your face. Anyway, the dream- I had become a Vagrant, I'm not sure how, but I got the feeling that it was for the most part by my own choice. Shiftlessly drifting from sity to city alwasy scrounging just enought for a hot meal and a shower at some truck stop. Eventually, however, i wandered into your corner of the country and one night whilst wandereing the side walks of a downtown sort of area, my eyes soaking up the brightly lit signs, i ran into you, outside a club of some sort. fetish perhaps? ;-) I turned to apologize while you turned to berate, but recognizing me you ignored my worn clothing, bedraggled hair, and the scent of the train i'd left that afternoon, and you embraced me- as an old friend who had come for a visit. You took me to your appartment talking of all that had gone on in your life during my absence from the world. I showered and slept on your couch that night amazed by your kindness and grace. I watched the sun rise over the hidtorical monuments and brand new high rises alike, and got my old duffle ready for another bums rush as the light dawned over the city, but you stunned me again when you wandered out of your bedroom smiling and ans asking me how i wanted my tea. I think i may have even smiled as i answered that i didn't remember it had been so long since last such a thing had passed my lips. Your laughter was infectious as it eased my embarassment at such an admisison and we both chuckled a bit as you replied, " Well, then we'll just have to find out again won't we?!"
I believe that was the point in the dream i let myself begin to like you. Not willing to leave behind this wonderfully new old freand and feeling of belonging i'd been searching for for so long, i found an appartment of my own. it was even within walking distance of yours. We spent so much time together. Remembering my passion of long ago, you set up an audition for me with nearby theatre troupe. It was a paying gig though not so well attended as to genrate enough income to live on, but i worked days at the coffee shop down the street and was happy. You never missed a show, bringing with you a wealth of friends. Having become close over the next several months, you were a regular backstage at rehearsals and in my dressing room. helping me with lines and costumes -you said it helped you relax.
One night just before the final scene of a dress rehearsal for the latest production, you were helping me back stage with some minute final costume adjustments, just offstage. As i heard my cue approaching suddenly my mind went blank and without thought or even awareness of what i was doing i stole a kiss from you and then hit my cue. It wasn't until halfway through the scene i realized what i'd done, and nearly blew the lines i was so distraught. As the curtain fell i fell in for notes and then as the rest fo the cast dispursed to the dressing rooms, i ran for my hiding spot above the front doors of the massive auditioruim, the second floor was rarely used, and next to the door from the staris just on the right there was a small alcove with bench. I fled there berating myself the entire time. I'd forgotten i'd shown you that place. I fell asleep on the bech there and still through my mind tumbled terrible visions of what your reaction would be. Then from the chaotic whirl of nightmares i was awakened by the sweetest, most gently loving and accepting kiss i'd ever experienced. I put my arms around you as you held me there tears of joy making my vision swim. We "took it" slow really. I went home that night with my ears ringing and my heart singing from your goodnight kiss, and visions of tomorrow filling me with such unimaginable joy. We spent every moment we could together over the next few months and still- you never missed a show.
We finally began living together when summer came again, we blissfully let time flow by, and every moment was savored together. One evening cuddled in the back of a taxi on the way home from a sucessfull show, I slowly took your hand in mine and slipped over your finger the ring that i had made during my years of wnadering alone. "Would you, " I asked looking deeply into your eyes hoping and fearing what i might see there," please consider, making me your only... forever?" and i held my breath as you smiled mischieveously and repliead, "If i don't who ever will you find to make your Chai with milk and balance it with Earl Grey?" Then you kissed me, long and slow with passion and joy. I then i woke. Odd that you can seem to live so many long years in single night, a single dream.
Pray gods i find the kind of happiness i felt within that dream of you in my waking life.
Unknown "Madame Butterfly" Crazy - 16 years, 7 months, 28 days ago

Shadow
I am a shadow,
Unseen, unheard.
Walking through a crowded street,
Untouched, unfelt.
I am a shadow,
Darkness- my protector,
Daylight- my destroyer.
The night my only friend, for
I am a shadow.

Unknown "Madame Butterfly" Crazy - 16 years, 9 months, 1 day ago

Blue Flowers


Colors fade.
The day begins.
No peace or love all over again.
But in a patch of sparkeling dew,
Blue flowers pop up.
They burst into view.
They open so slowly,
Taking their time.
Each one holds a secret
Deep an sublime.
When touched by the prick of an uncaring hand
They crumble to dust
So much like sand.
The sand is blue like a sparkeling sea.
A gift so beautiful, given to me?
We each hold a flower,
Within in it-
Ourselves.
We must keep and protect
This most precious of spells.



Death
The room is dark and still,
Silent but for my heart.
Velvet black surrounds me,
And I taste the silence--
Mmmmm . . . bittersweet.
I can hear my heart.
Be still--quiet your pounding beat.
It fades away, and all that's left
Is velvet darkness and bittersweet silence.
It surrounds and swallows me,
Whisking me away forever.



Red on White
When you're born you're white,Pure.
No matter how you look White.
But then you learn, you grow Red,
And as you grow you come to know Life.
You're not white any more.
An' it's all just 'cause you Know.
Names emblazoned
Red on white.
Who decides?
Who decides?
Who dies?
Who goes?
Who comes?
Who Knows?
Names emblazoned
Red on white.
Who decides?
Who decides?
Who dies?



The Maze
It's all a maze
Through thick 'n thin.
So long
So long it'll never end.
Still somehow you know it's all connected.
A tunnel here, the pathway there
On and on so full of care.
And at the end,
A prize worth keeping.
The treasure to keep, but not to touch.
Something worth seeing.
In the heart to hold with
A hand to share
This beauty untold.



Invisible Soul
She walks with a smile,
Yet you can see there's
Something
Hiding behind the bouncing presence
And laugh that comae and go
Lightning quick.
Strange, she smiles yet,
There it goes!
Just a flicker, but it's
Different; striking,
And suddenly you see.
That lightning strike and
Flicker of flame,
Are only meant to
Draw attention
From the tears that fall behind
The Mask.




Unknown "Madame Butterfly" Crazy - 16 years, 9 months, 1 day ago

In an empty grave,

Near a lonely glade

She ever lies in wait

For the true sole voice

That might bring

Life Again

So tears fall in silence

And hearts beat in pain-

Breathing, hoping, wishing and fearinf

To hear you sing again.

By and old dead tree,

On a beach, near a silent sea

He listens to hear

Her songs- long gone

To give him

Strength Again.

So tears fall in silence

And hearts beat in pain-

Breathing, hoping, wishing, and fearing

To hear you sing again.

The Center- Mountain Range

Divider of two worn souls.

She- one half dying,

The other- trying,

But all the roads

Are Gone.

So tears fall in silence

And hearts beat in pain-

Breathing, hoping, wishing,and fearing

To hear you sing again.




Unknown "Madame Butterfly" Crazy - 16 years, 9 months, 1 day ago

noise without form

chaos!

whirling malestrom of light

is this what it's like

to die.

somehow i think it would be sweeter

velvet

silent and peaceful.

no fears no pain.

blessed darkness devoid of consciousness.

simple and quiet.

Peaceful rest at long last.


Unknown "Madame Butterfly" Crazy - 16 years, 9 months, 1 day ago