Man, this Chinese New Year is so boring~!
Unknown "歌神" Gloomy - 16 years, 3 months ago

An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.

The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper.

Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull."
Benny didn't move.

Then he yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger."
Still, Benny didn't move.

Then he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard."
Benny just stood.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said,
"Okay, Benny, pull."

Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.

The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, "Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try."
Unknown "歌神" Gloomy - 16 years, 3 months, 2 days ago

There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach. They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn 't be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two. After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight. "What took you so long? " inquired the Redhead. "There were some strong currents out there! But I 'm here now! Am I the last? " replied the Brunette. "No. Blondie is still out there somewhere. " They decided to wait.Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view. Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde "What took you so long? " "What do you expect? You guy 's cheated, replied the idignant blonde, "You used your hands! "
Unknown "歌神" Gloomy - 16 years, 3 months, 2 days ago

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!! " The blind man replies, "Just looking around. "
Unknown "歌神" Gloomy - 16 years, 3 months, 2 days ago

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked.

"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee."

"Oh, that's awful!"

"You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."
Unknown "歌神" Gloomy - 16 years, 3 months, 2 days ago