After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, and
He doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still
standing on the curb

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver,

'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive
at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job!
And what if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd
never gone to work that morning.

'There might be something extra in it for you,' says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind
the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting
the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!' pleads the worried driver, but the
Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God,
I'm gonna lose my license,' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but
the cop takes one look at him, goes Back to his motorcycle, and gets on
the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a
limo going a hundred and five.

'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that - he's really important,' said the
cop.

The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop.

The Chief then asked, 'Who have you got there, the Mayor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'Governor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

Chief: 'What makes you think it's God?'


.....................keep going..........................





Cop: 'He's got the f**ing Pope as a chauffeur!'
Unknown Cheeky - 16 years, 7 months, 13 days ago

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became
aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner.
He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her
back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly.
Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his
hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her
waist.
He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other.
His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle
stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then
returned to do the same to her right thigh.
By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to
better position herself.
The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.
"Why are you stopping?" she whispered.
He whispered back, "I found the remote."
Unknown Cheeky - 16 years, 8 months, 12 days ago