I tried to die. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. For being selfish. For being intolerable. For being irritating. For trying too hard. For saying the wrong things. For hurting innocent people. For making people cry. For pushing those that cared away. For not knowing how to make things right. I'm sorry for not being as well polished as everyone around me. I'm sorry for not being good enough. I'm sorry for not being smart enough. I'm sorry for not being talented enough, an excellent mind. I'm sorry if you regret wasting your time and money on me. I'm sorry you have to compare me to everyone else, because I'm not what you wanted me to be. I'm sorry for not coruscating as brightly as the other girls. I apologize for giving you a reason to scream, shout, hit me everyday. I'm sorry you have to look at me with disgust. I'm sorry the thought of disowning me ever crossed your mind. I'm sorry for not being an outstanding individual, daughter, friend. Person. I hope you forgive me for not trying to change, even though I know its for my own well being. I hope you forgive me, for procrastinating, for ignoring, for laughing, for cursing, for disappointing. All those times you needed me, and I wasn't there. Please don't hate me for being prone to jealousy, to perfection. To anything remotely better than I. Please don't think lesser of me, please don't see me as fraudulant and wrathful. Please don't turn away from me, for being different. Please don't say I am everything you stand against. I am begging you. To not question how I think. To not look at me with hate, to not condemn me. To not criticize the way I dress, the way I talk, the way I look, the way I am. To not label me. To not exclude me, for I do feel, I do. And I want to be apart of whatever. To not judge me on appearance. To not give up on me. I do not wish to be worthless. I do not want you to cry for me, I do not want to cry for myself. I do not want you to cry for me, I do not want to cry for myself. I do not want to look at other people, and want to be more like them. For I have told myself, that I will not be defined by what others are. I do not possess the power to make anyone happy, I try. I am not a good person, I have done things that I am not proud of. I am a fake. I am weak. I am a coward. I am condemned. I am selfish. I am inadequate. I am rude. I am immature. I am unbareable. I am temperamental. I am worthless. I am insignificant. I am nothing. I am useless. Now, would you believe me if I said I didn't need you ? 'Cause I wouldn't believe you if you said the same to me.
Abbie Lyann Joseph "♥Inspire♡" Hopeless - 16 years ago

if i could be anything in the world
i would want to be a tear
so i could be born in your eyes
live on your cheeks
and die on your lips ..

Abbie Lyann Joseph "♥Inspire♡" Hopeless - 16 years, 25 days ago

I've given away my heart, so it could be torn into pieces.
He left me with the feelings of betrayal and being forgotten.
I'm so in love, yet so alone, with years thrown away.

Feeling his absences hurts the most.
My constant urge to call is almost taking over.
While on the other side, my cycle of feelings starts with rage.
Slowly going into sadness, rage again, desperation,
devastation, and finally denial.

Every morning I open my eyes to emptiness.
This so-called love has taken over my life leaving me distracted.

Days pass by and now my emotions are going crazy.
The hardest part of moving on is the jealousy on top of all my misery.

But soon enough I'll go to bed realizing I survived this struggle.
I need to escape my depression to continue breathing.
And regain my strength, I think, I'll love again.

But only if I could open my feelings to someone else and not
only to that special someone I loved whom i thought our love will never end.

And there it goes... Our love end.

Abbie Lyann Joseph "♥Inspire♡" Hopeless - 16 years, 10 months, 8 days ago

I still remember that brisk and cool day,
that day we met and my fears were driven away.
Your prefect smile, your joyous laugh,
the way your eyes lit up when we talked about the past.
We would sit and talk for hours on end
about our secrets and our future plans.

Our friendship started to grow much more.
It became a feeling so strong we could not ignore.
You told me, it would be for the best, just wait and see.
You said fate has brought you to me.
We believed those words, we thought they were true,
but i guess they weren't because now we are through.
Now you're done and now I see that it was all because, I think its me.

I was hurt so badly, yet cared so much,
by the only person I loved very much.
You deserve the best in everything you do.
Maybe someday I will see you again,
with a smile on your face, hand in hand with me again.
Until that day comes I will be here,
I will be your angel in the light that's so clear.
I'll look out for you when you need me the most,
I will always be there, and i will not let you down.
I love you now and I always will, and even though your not mine now,
my heart holds you still.

For this is surely true...

Abbie Lyann Joseph "♥Inspire♡" Hopeless - 16 years, 10 months, 10 days ago

xx .Life's a bitch && Love's a whore. xx

Abbie Lyann Joseph "♥Inspire♡" Hopeless - 16 years, 11 months, 1 day ago