There is something cathartic about sitting alone in the dark, with a hand rolled cigarette and bottle of cheap whiskey for company. For a Friday night, is there any better?

Going on cruise control, luxuriating in contemplation of navel fluff, laughing at murderous plots reconsidered. Maybe I'm just a die hard romantic.

Or really bad at Latin.
Unknown "solo" Growling - 16 years, 6 months, 12 days ago

"Oh Sleep! Tis a Gentle Thing!"

So said Coleridge, his epic taile of the ancyent marinere painting vast psychedelia in sufficiently aroused minds.

Yet irony lies in wait. Crouching hidden among the lush dream fields. For slumber evades the active of the grey between one's ears. Nor that beneath the cage of ribs.

Be still my beating heart.

According to the New York Times, a solid 6-10 hours of sleep is a recent phenomenon. No more than 2 centuries ago, people slept in 2 stages.

First sleep is usually deep, lasting 3-4 hours. Then a calm wakefulness during which one might engage in activities ranging from sitting on the porch naked to having sex. Second stage is a light sleep, or morning sleep, for another 3-4 hours. Or afternoon if you’re Spanish.

To cut a long story short, and the New York Times dedicated 9 pages to it, the argument is that insomnia, like attention deficit disorder, is a commodity. Pharmaceutical companies, or legal drug dealers, and mattress salesmen (they prefer sleep system engineers) want you to believe that there is a cookie cutter standard to aspire towards. Just like everything in life. 8 hours of sleep. 6 glasses of water. 4 and 20 blackbirds baked in a pie.

Be still my beating heart.


Unknown "solo" Growling - 16 years, 9 months, 9 days ago

There is a proverbial saying chiefly concerned with warning against too closely calculating the numerical value of unhatched chicks.
Unknown "solo" Growling - 16 years, 9 months, 9 days ago

In the beginning there was nothing. The Goddess, growing invariably bored, wanted the heaven and the earth. After an eternity of subtle hints and lengthy sighs, she realized no one was listening and set about creating them herself.

And the earth was without form, for bias cuts have not been invented, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Nature of The Goddess reflected upon the face of the waters.

And The Goddess said, let there be light and there was light.

And The Goddess saw the light, that it was pretty but a little too bright, and The Goddess separated the light from the darkness. The Goddess called the light Ho Hum, and the darkness Fun Time. And the evening and morning were the first day.

Then The Goddess said, let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. And The Goddess made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: simply because.

And The Goddess called the firmament Heaven but changed her mind and called it Sky.

And the evening and the morning were the second day.

And The Goddess said, let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: again simply because.

And The Goddess called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called the Seas: and The Goddess saw that it was good for bikinis and getting a tan.

And The Goddess said, let the earth bring forth lush grass to lie upon, the herb to cook with, and the fruit tree yielding yummy fruits: She was getting hungry.

The earth brought forth grass, and herbs, and the tree yielding fruit: and The Goddess saw that it was pretty but could be yummier.

And the evening and the morning were a long but fruitful day.

The Goddess then said, the skies are rather boring, let there be lights to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs: She made the stars and set them in the sky to make it prettier. And The Goddess saw that it was a good day to engage in fresh opportunities should they arise.

And the evening and the morning should be the fourth day.

The Goddess said, let the waters bring forth pretty fishies, cute little birdies that may fly above the earth. Especially if their young were fluffy and adorable: and The Goddess was thrilled.

And the evening and the morning were too short.

The Goddess excited from yesterday, called forth living creatures of the land. Puppies and kittens and ponies were especially cute. But they were not housebroken and shit all over the place. The things that creepeth over the earth were not particularly endearing either.

So The Goddess created Womyn. She gave them shops filled with dresses and shoes and pretty little things, and She called it Heaven. And for a while, The Goddess was happy to have company to discuss fashion.

But The Goddess realize some of the womyn did not like each other at all, and that no one was cleaning up the doggie and kitty poop, and some womyn had trouble opening the jars the pretty little things came in.

So The Goddess created Man.

And the evening and the morning were just too damn long.
Unknown "solo" Growling - 16 years, 9 months, 29 days ago

Fixing a piece of machinery is very much like sex. Ya gotta get the screws out in the right order, flip the right latches, twist the right knobs before you get to the tiniest little thing that needed attention.

More often than not, it's in plain sight once you know where to look but it's almost always positioned where you will not be able to see what you are doing. So you go in blind, wiggling about, hoping you got the right spot. Over and over again.

Until finally, that slight tensing up as your tool slides into the perfect position. You've got it. You've wiggled your way to nirvana. You've poked and jabbed and twisted all the right places. You've played twister on a greasy mat that required less awkward posturing. You give yourself a congratulatory pat on the back, lean back for a smoke before meticulously putting everything back together again. A job well done.

You switch it on, expecting it to fire up and function exactly as it was designed to. But. It. Doesn't. It fucking doesn't.
Unknown "solo" Growling - 16 years, 9 months, 29 days ago