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Lucylove
Lucylove owns this human at 90 points.
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Carefree

johan
":) "



Name:
johan
Last login: over 3 weeks ago
Location:

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Herds: RANDOM SPAM...Speed, zubi's thumb exchange:), RIA's Herd
johan's tales
johan

I persist the facts were true
the tale tell signs of you in me
my burden brought on by the hate inside
my future planned from the love I refuse to let die
my hand not for taking anymore
my soul not the comfort you misuse
fantasies all died in this fight
dreams who saved me killed with the knifes
scrape clean my back and take one by one
stare me down and tell me you knew from the start
more I'm willing to take
push me up against the wall of regret and slap me in the face
a single road your not willing to take with me
refusal of the the prospect in which my life ends great
no need to save me form myself
no point when all the words fall into place
I will betray myself if it means that it will save you
I will take the bullet form my own gun while thinking of your face
the go get lost and heroes splattered is covering my face
one last question to feed my addiction
one last look to prove that your pride brought us to this place

johan ":) " Carefree - 16 years, 10 months, 3 days ago
johan
A little bit of inspiration…

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, and sing a few songs...

I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my Friend, That's when it gets really interesting,"
answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" said the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings doing what you like and enjoying your friends."
johan ":) " Carefree - 16 years, 11 months, 13 days ago
johan
Wel, jy sien dit werk so...

'n Trop buffels beweeg net so vinnig soos die stadigste buffel.

Wanneer die trop gejag word is dit die stadigste en swakste agter wat
geskiet word.
Die natuurlike seleksie is goed vir die trop as 'n geheel, want die
spoed en toestand van die trop verbeter deur die gereelde eliminasie van
die swakste troplid.

Op dieselfde manier funksioneer die menslike brein net so goed soos die
swakste breinsel.

Soos ons weet, vernietig oormatige gebruik van alkohol breinselle.

Maar natuurlik val die alkohol die stadigste en swakste breinsel eerste
aan. Op hierdie manier, deur gereelde gebruik van alkohol, word die
swakste en stadigste breinselle vernietig, wat dan die brein vinniger en
meer effektief laat funksioneer.......

.... en dit is hoekom jy altyd slimmer voel na 'n paar doppe!

johan ":) " Carefree - 16 years, 11 months, 19 days ago
johan
Op 'n Maandag oggend, het die hele skool soos gewoonlik in die saal vergader.


Die skoolhoof het soos gewoonlik sy storie vertel, die eerste rugbyspan geprys, die skoolkommittee hartlik bedank, die kinders met stories bang gemaak - nie dat ek dink kinders skrik meer vir enigiets minder as die doodstraf, wat hulle weet hulle nie opgele kan word nie. Hy betuig verder sy dankbaarheid teenoor die kinders wat hulle siviele eise teen die skool teruggetrek het, en vir die wat nie meer in die klaskamers rook nie.


Op die verhoog staan daar twee kartondose. In hierdie kartondose is daar Bybels wat deur die Gideon organisasie (dis die ouens wat Bybels in hotelle ens. plaas) aan die skool geskenk is. Die idee is om vir alle kinders wat nie bybels het nie, 'n bybeltjie te gee. Omdat hierdie nogal 'n noemenswaardige gebaar is, het twee van die Gideon mense na die Skool gekom om die Bybels te oorhandig. Die twee sit so half eenkant - weg van die onderwysers af.


Toe die hoof klaar is met sy aankondigings, kyk hy so op na die kinders, en sonder om 'n beat te mis, swaai hy sy hand so na die twee Gideon mense se kant toe en se:


"Julle wonder seker wat hierdie twee dose op die verhoog doen?"

johan ":) " Carefree - 16 years, 11 months, 20 days ago
johan
Etiket vir die Tappets . . . !


ALGEMEEN
1. Moet nooit bier saam vat na 'n job interview nie.
2. Probeer eers uitvind wie die mense in jou jaard is voor jy begin skiet.
3. Die dominee smaak dit nie as jy 'n cooler box saam vat kerk toe nie.
4. As jy die bed moet stofsuig is dit tyd om ander lakens op te sit.
5. Selfs al is jy seker jy is ingesluit in die testament, moenie jou Venter Trailer saam sleep na 'n begrafnis toe nie.

UITEET
1. As jy wyn skink, tilt die paper cup sodat jy nie die "vrug" van die wyn bederf nie.
2. As jy uit die bottel uit drink, hou hom so vas sodat jou vingers die label toehou.

ONTHAAL IN JOU HUIS
1. Moenie jou geliefde opgestopte hamster/kat/hond/aap op die koffietafel sit nie.
2. Moenie dat jou hond van die tafel af eet nie (al is sy maniere beter as jou gaste s'n).

PERSOONLIKE GESONDHEID
1. Terwyl ore gereeld moet skoongemaak word, is dit 'n job wat verkieslik met jou eie bakkiesleutels gedoen moet word.
2. As jy toiletware reg gebruik kan jy 'n paar dae gaan sonder 'n wassie.
3. Grond en olie onder jou vinger naels is 'n social nee, want dit gee daai finger snacks 'n snaakse smaak en cherries laaik dit nie so kwaai nie.

VERHOUDINGS (buite die familie)
1. Bied altyd aan om die aas aan jou goose se hoek te sit, veral met die eerste date.
2. Wees aggressief. Laat weet haar jy wag al twee jaar om met haar uit te gaan nadat jy daai goed gelees het teen die toilet muur daar by die jol plek.
3. Maak seker jy vind uit by haar ma-hulle wanneer sy by die huis moet wees.
Party sal sê 10-uur, ander "Maandag". As die antwoord Maandag is, is dit jou job om te sorg dat sy betyds by die skool is.

FLIEK
1. Huilende babas moet verkieslik na die voorportaal gevat word en onmiddelik na die show gehaal word.
2. Moenie met die mense op die screen probeer praat nie. Jarelange wetenskaplike navorsing het bewys dat hulle jou nie kan hoor nie.

TROUES
1. Kleinvee is nie so 'n hot trougeskenk nie.
2. As jy die bruid langer as 5 sekondes soen, kan jy miskien geskiet word.
3. Vir die bruidegom: Huur 'n tux; 'n corduroy broek en T-shirt met 'n cummerbund werk nie so lekker nie. Stofepipes is ook uit.
4. Al is dit moelik, sê maar ja vir sokkies en skoene (al is dit dan net vir die kerk).

BESTUUR
1. Dim jou ligte as 'n kar van voor af kom, al is jou gun gelaai.
2. As jy by 'n 4-way stop kom, ry die ou met die grootste wiele eerste , daarna die ou wie se exhaust die hardste raas.
3. Moet nooit 'n ander blaar se kar tou met pantyhose en duct tape nie.
4. As jy jou vrou/goose met 'n kannetjie stuur om te gaan petrol haal, is dit swak maniere om haar te vra om bier ook terug te bring.
5. Moenie spin as jy in 'n begrafnisstoet ry nie.
johan ":) " Carefree - 16 years, 11 months, 22 days ago
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