Girl: I have to tell you something...
Boy: What?
Girl: I really like you. And I... I think I'm falling in love with you.
Boy: Ok...
Girl: What do you mean "ok"?
Boy: I don't like you like that...
Girl: Why not?
Boy: I can't tell you... maybe another time...
From then on, the girl kept asking the boy "Why not?" whenever she saw him,
and he kept answering the same answer of "I'll tell you later." Finally the
girl got fed up.
Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why you don't like me!
Boy: Do you really wanna know why?
Girl: Yes!
Boy: It's because you're ugly! What's the point of going out with someone
when they're not pretty?!
Girl: But... I...
Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone!
The boy leaves and the girl is sitting there alone, crying her heart
out. Then her cell phone rings.
Girl: Hello?
Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to go home, ok? I'll be home from work in
a few hours.
Girl: Alright Mom.
Mom: I love you.
Girl: I love you too, Mom.
Mom: Bye Bye.
Girl: Bye
The girl heads home and once she got there, she went in the bathroom
and looked at herself in the mirror.
Girl: I'm not pretty enough...
She set to work, knowing fully well what she was going to do. 2
hours later, her Mom came home and heard the bath water running. She went
upstairs to find the hallway flooded so she knocked on the door.
Mom: Honey? Are you alright?
She opened the door and was shocked at the site. The bath was
overflowing onto the floor, and the water was tinted red. She walked over to
see what was inside and screamed. There, her little girl was lying with cuts
all over her face and wrists. Her Mom backed away and was going to run to
call the police when something caught her eye. On the mirror, am I pretty
enough now?
No one deserves to be told that by someone they love. If you find
it messed up then forward this to everyone you know.
A person's appearance doesn't count. What counts is their heart
inside of them and their personality. No one wants to be told they're not
good enough...
Unknown "Brian" Playful - 16 years, 8 months, 14 days ago

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely
candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what
they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets
her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very
nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more a
attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set
of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive
clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the
money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several
times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder
in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save f or their future
because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the
money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs. Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than
on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large
elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Unknown "Brian" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 19 days ago

On their wedding night, the young bride
approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In
his highly aroused state, her husband readily
agreed.



This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to
afford new clothes and other incidentals that
she needed.



Arriving home around noon one day, she was
surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that! hi s employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had
been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of
59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.



Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totalling nearly$1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.



She explained that for the more than
three decades she had "charged" him for sex,
these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.


Faced with evidence of cash and investments
worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"



That's when she shot him.



You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
to keep their mouths shut.
Unknown "Brian" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 23 days ago

A police officer stops a Harley for travelling faster than the posted speed limit.
He asks the biker his name "Fred," he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a
break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then
pressed him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a
last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his
hands but plays along with it.

"Tell me Fred; how did you lose your last name?"

The biker replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred
Dingaling. I know -- a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all
the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard and got good grades.

When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through
college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my
degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD."

"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to
school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my
degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS."

"Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my
assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS,

with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.

Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, with VD."

"Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the
VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD."

"Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am just Fred."

The officer wal ked away in tears, laughing.
Unknown "Brian" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 23 days ago

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT .
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE



THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND ,


TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE .

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH .


THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:

'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE'

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'

THE FRIEND REPLIED
'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.


BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE Must UST ENGRAVE IT IN
STONE WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT'

LEARN TO
WRITE YOUR
HURTS IN THE
SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.
Unknown "Brian" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 23 days ago