have you ever travelled through life pushing everything that is good away..??
have you ever questioned everything that happens..??
have you ever thought thatyou were god/the devil..??
if you have perhaps you can relate...

over the past few months i have been getting lower and lower until the end is a circle...

i have been working life into a circle, i determined the meaning of life as a sick joke...

i was ready to die, yet too stubborn or lazy to do it...

everything i have ever done has a meaning, and my life has been written, if you have ever met or spoke to me, your life is written too...

these are the thoughts of a mad man... or are they...

i speak in riddles taht make sense...

i can no longer explain something without the explanation of the explanation...

anyway.. i stated pushing all of my fiends and family away throughout my life.. and i ended up bein sad and lonely.. although there are still problems i am working them out.. i am finding my feet again and hope to tell you when i am feeling better... so for now ill leave you with a list of good and bad....

THE BAD:
i have had my hours dropped at work to twelve... my manager knows i have my own flat...
the council are doing me for fraudulent behaviour, they want £1040..
i have no heat in my flat..
i lost the girl that i wanted to be with..
i have no money to pay the bills, let alone have any luxuries..
its that time of year when a person of religious upbringing recieves nothin..

the GOOD:
saw slipknot, supporting band was machine head.. had a {sic} time..
Mother taking me out for the day, cinema and meal..
going to center parcs with the family..
gas guy has finally found fault with my heater..
its my birthday..
ill be goin out to blackpool with friends for new years eve..
i have a friend that wants t move ina nd help wit arrears..
my grandmother is payin something towards my gas arrears..


i can find a positive in most things, but im screwed when it comes to money....


i realised a few days ago the best thing in life is Hope....

if you have nothin to hope for, then their is nothin to live for...
existing is not living, but i'd like to hope im doing it wel..


Peace....

Unknown "Bong Bobon +" Intrigued - 15 years, 11 months, 21 days ago

been away for a while but am now back.. for a time until shit hits the fan again i guess..
well anywho.. i been in an out of jobs, im struggling with money as is everyone else, cannot for the life of me figure out why the english government cannot use logic to deal with problems, had a fal out with my partner, am now single, am very bored, am very skint, though had an awesome time at alton towers yesterday as my friends from nort h yorkshire came down, and had an also equally good time at leeds fest...

albums im listening to:
Slipknot - All hope is Gone...
Metallica - Death Magnetic..

Books im reading:
book 5 of Robert Jordan, the Wheel of Time, The Fires of Heaven..
Valentino Rosi, autobiography..

Most recent films:
Batman Dark Knight..
The Mummy 3..

Drugs im using:
sulphadol, diclofenic, and marijuana..
Unknown "Bong Bobon +" Intrigued - 16 years, 2 months, 10 days ago

IF YOU HAD ME ALONE... LOCKED UP IN YOUR ROOM FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS AND IF WE COULD DO WHATEVER YOU WANTED! WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH ME? TELL ME ON MY PAGE THEN REPOST THIS IN YOUR TALE or comment... YOU MIGHT BE SURPRISED WITH THE RESPONSES YOU GET. THEY COULD MAKE YOU LAUGH OR EVEN SMILE
Unknown "Bong Bobon +" Intrigued - 16 years, 7 months, 9 days ago

Dream symbol: father
father, fathers, fathering, fathered

Interpretation:
God or Source energy
Needing to take charge of a situation, to get into action
A protector, guardian, guide, provider
Your actual father
Your own fathering traits and skills being reflected back to you
The originator of something
Procreating or generating
Something natural or innate e.g. fatherland



Dream symbol: tattoo
tattoo, tattoos, tattooing, tattooed

Interpretation:
Your association with tattoos as well as the design or illustration will provide further interpretational clues
Permanence
A statement of belief



Dream symbol: knife
knife, knives, knifing, knifed

Interpretation:
Creating something new either through carving it from scratch or by cutting away unwanted parts
Feeling betrayed or knifed
Wanting to harm others, knife them
Being knifed may represent self-inflicted injury
Something achieved comfortably or with ease, like a knife through butter



Dream symbol: torso
torso, torsos

Interpretation:
The torso houses the first 5 chakras which drive the survival, emotional, reproductive, mental, heart and creative processes
A statue of a human body that excludes the head and limbs is often referred to as a torso and may denote feeling incapacitated, losing your head or going crazy, or feeling maimed



Dream symbol: pierce
pierce, pierces, piercing, pierced

Interpretation:
Piercing something may represent investigating the deeper aspects of a situation or problem
Discovering or realizing something
Puncturing a balloon may represent either a shattered dream or exposing something for what it truly is



Dream symbol: chest
chest, chests

Interpretation:
Inner treasure, abundance, treasure chest
The 4th (heart) chakra
Pride
Needing to get rid of things that are bothering you, get them off your chest



Dream symbol: free
free, frees, freer, freeing, freed

Interpretation:
Releasing something, freeing it from restriction
Mission accomplished, task completed, being home free
Wanting to get things for free may represent an unequal exchange of energy
A gift
Frees may be a homonym for freeze

Therefore, going by the interpretations i believe my dream to mean:
Needing to take charge of a situation, to get into action (clean my room, and sort out my life)
Creating something new either through carving it from scratch or by cutting away unwanted parts (start a new page, give myself a fresh start in life)
Piercing something may represent investigating the deeper aspects of a situation or problem
Discovering or realizing something, Needing to get rid of things that are bothering you, get them off your chest (the reason i am aggravated, depressed and seriously lacking self motivation.. the need to explain to others the problems i am facing)
Releasing something, freeing it from restriction (this i put down to hiding my true self and livin a facade.. so no longer hidin behind this facade)...............................
Unknown "Bong Bobon +" Intrigued - 16 years, 7 months, 10 days ago

THIS IS THE DREAM I HAD....


My father asked me to get a tattoo of a blade (of my choice) tattooed up the side of my ribs... ((I was not given an explanation to why he wanted me to do this, but i assumed it was supposed to be obedience or respect to my father...)) I went into the tattoo studio and browsed all sorts of blades that I could have, or that I would want to have, after a few hours of browsing I came up with a blade, I spoke to the artist and explained the reason for this.... ((The artist then asked me if i was sure I wanted to do this because it is permanent and he does not like his work to be regretted)) As I sat down to have the tattoo started, I turned and said to the artist, "No, Stop, Pierce my nipple instead"... So i had my nipple pierced but this was done with no pain at all... (my expectations of this piercing are that it is the most painful to have) ..... After this ordeal I left the place and i was told that i did not need to pay.....

if there is anyone that can help to explain this to me, then please talk to me..... i am so confused right now....
Unknown "Bong Bobon +" Intrigued - 16 years, 7 months, 10 days ago