What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes

Unknown "Flapperton" Sparkling - 16 years, 3 months, 13 days ago

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
Unknown "Flapperton" Sparkling - 16 years, 7 months, 13 days ago

If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
Unknown "Flapperton" Sparkling - 16 years, 7 months, 25 days ago

5 Secrets to a Great Relationship

1. It is important to find a woman who works around the house, cooks and cleans and who has a job.

2. It is important to find a woman who makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a woman who is dependable and doesn't lie.

4. It is important to find a woman who's good in bed and who loves to have sex with you.

5. It is important that these four women never meet.

Unknown "Flapperton" Sparkling - 16 years, 7 months, 25 days ago