[WITCH]
In the past, when your mother was with child, she developed
an unusual appetite. SHe took one look at my beautiful garden
and told your father that what she wanted more than
anything in the world was
Greens, greens and nothing but greens:
Parsley, peppers, cabbages and celery,
Asparagus and watercress and
Fiddleferns and lettuce-!
He said, "All right,"
But it wasn't, quite,
'Cause I caught him in the autumn
In my garden one night!
He was robbing me,
Raping me,
Rooting through my rutabaga,
Raiding my arugula and
Ripping up my rampion
(My champion! My favorite!)-
I should have laid a spell on him
Right there,
Could have changed him into stone
Or a dog or a chair...
But I let him have the rampion-
I'd lots to spare.
In return, however,
I said, "Fair is fair:
You can let me have the baby
That your wife will bear.
And we'll call it square."
[BAKER]
I had a brother?
[WITCH]
No. But you had a sisiter.
[NARRATOR]
But the witch refused to tell him anymore of his sister.
Not even that her name was Rapunzel.
[WITCH]
I though I had been more than reasonable.
But how was I to know what your father
had also hidden in his pocket?!
[BAKER]
What?
[WITCH]
Beans.
[BAKER & WIFE]
Beans?
[WITCH]
The special beans.
I let him go,
I didn't know
He'd stolen my beans!
I was watching him crawl,
Back over the wall-!
Then bang! Crash!
And the lightning flash!
And- well, that's another story,
Never mind-
Anyway, at last
The big day came,
And I made my claim.
"Oh, don't take away the baby,"
They shrieked and screeched,
But I did,
And I hid her
Where she'll never be reached.
And your father cried,
And your mother died
When for extra measure-
I admit it was a pleasure-
I said, "Sorry,
I'm still not mollified."
And I laid little spell on them-
You, too, son-
That your family tree
Would always be a barren one...
So there's no more fuss
And there's no more scenes
And my garden thrives-
You should see my nectarines!
But I'm tellling you the same
I tell kings and queens:
Don't ever never ever
Mess around with my greens!
Especially the beans.
Unknown "awesome toilet " Sparkling
- 16 years, 9 months, 12 days ago
