Old age, I decided, is a gift!

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body; the wrinkles, the baggy eyes and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person who lives in my mirror, (who looks like my mother!) I do not, however, agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie or for not making my bed or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4:00 a.m. and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's and 70's and, if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love...I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

I know I am sometimes forgetful, but there again, some of life is just as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore, I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here I will not waste time lamenting what could have been or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat desert every single day - if I feel like it!"

Unknown "Princess Shirley" Sparkling - 16 years, 8 months, 2 days ago

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

BROTHEL AND ESCORT AGENCY

10 MILES

He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says:



SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

BROTHEL AND ESCORT AGENCY

5 MILES

Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real.
Then he drives past a third sign saying:



SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

ESCORT AGENCY

<< NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.

On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a Small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."

"Very well, my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.
The nun stops at a closed door, smiles, and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup.
This nun instructs, "Please place £50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."

He gets £50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup.

He trots eagerly down the hall , smiling and then slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.

As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:

GO IN PEACE

YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED

BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

SERVES YOU RIGHT!

Unknown "Princess Shirley" Sparkling - 16 years, 9 months, 7 days ago