A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't Seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
Bartender, "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
Pirate, "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm Fine now."
Bartender, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your Hand?"
Pirate, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a
Sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."
" Bartender "What about that eye patch?"
Pirate, "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I Looked up and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you lost an eye just from Bird shit."
Pirate, "It was my first day with the hook."
Unknown "☆Party Girl☆" Uncertain - 16 years, 1 month, 28 days ago

WOMAN 1 - MAN 0
A woman in her thirties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight.Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18-year-old." The husband replies, "What did he say about your 42-year old arse?" "Your name never came up," she replied.

WOMAN 1 - MAN 0

Unknown "☆Party Girl☆" Uncertain - 16 years, 1 month, 28 days ago

My best friend

I never had no one I could count on, I been let down so many times. I was tired of hurting, so tired of searching, 'til u walked in to my life. It was a feeling I'd never known. For the first time, I didn't feel alone. Your more than a lover, there could never be another, to make me feel the way you do. Oh we just get closer, I fall in love all over every time I look at you. I don't know where I'd be, without you here with me, life with you makes perfect sense. You're my best friend. You're my best friend. Oh yeah. You stand by me, you believe in me, like nobody ever has, when my world goes crazy you are right there to save me, you make me see how much I have. .................................................................................... .................................................................................... ....................................................... Oh we just get closer I fall in love all over, every time I look at you. I don't know where I'd be without you here with me, life with you makes perfect sense. You're my best friend. You're my best friend.

Tim McGraw
Unknown "☆Party Girl☆" Uncertain - 16 years, 2 months, 6 days ago

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON----HMMMMM----
Does anyone else hate that as much as I do???
Unknown "☆Party Girl☆" Uncertain - 16 years, 2 months, 12 days ago

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON----HMMMMM----
Does anyone else hate that as much as I do???
Unknown "☆Party Girl☆" Uncertain - 16 years, 2 months, 12 days ago