Pywackett "Py " Purring - 16 years, 7 months ago

A car gets a flat on the interstate one day.

The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.

She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing on coming traffic.

The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers.

Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.

It isn't very long before a police car arrives.

The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, 'What's going on here?'

'My car broke down, officer' says the woman calmly.

'Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?' he asks.

'Helllooooooo!! !!' says the blonde.

'Those are my emergency flashers!'
Pywackett "Py " Purring - 16 years, 7 months ago

Two men are sitting at the bar at the top of the Empire State Building drinking, when the first man turns to the other one and says: 'You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the wind around the building is so intense that it carries you around the building and back into the window'

The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar, but says nothing.

The second guy says, ' What? Are you insane? There's no way that could happen!'

'No, no...it's true...' said the first man, 'let me prove it to you.'

He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony and plummets toward the street below.

When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and back into the 10th floor window.

He takes the elevator back up to the bar.

He meets the second man, who is astonished.

'Oh my God, I saw t hat with my own eyes!

But that must've been a one-time fluke. That was scientifically impossible!'

'No, I'll prove it again,' says the first man as he jumps.

Again, just as his body hurtles towards the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. He takes the elevator back to the bar.

Once upstairs, he successfully convinces his dubious fellow drinker to try it.

'Well, what the hell,' the second guy says, 'I've seen that it works, so I'll try it!'

He immediately jumps over the balcony - plunges downward rapidly passing the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors...

Then his body hits the sidewalk...Splat!!!!!

Back upstairs, the bartender who had been silent the whole time turns to the first drinker, and shakes his head and says...

'You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk.
Pywackett "Py " Purring - 16 years, 7 months ago

An elderly gent was invited to an old friends' home for dinner one evening.

He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.

The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.'

The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!'
Pywackett "Py " Purring - 16 years, 7 months, 1 day ago

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her
mother, 'Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today!'


Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, 'It reminded me of a peanut.'


Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, 'Really small, was it?'


Sally replied, 'No... salty!'


Mom fainted
Pywackett "Py " Purring - 16 years, 7 months, 1 day ago