Thumbed all of ya can you pls rtf thanks

A married couple just left their apartment to go on a road trip. They needed to fill up their gas tank since it was low on fuel. The wife noticed a gas station was close by and the husband refused to drive in. He said "It’s too expensive."
< BR>An hour later the married couple passed by another and same thing. The husband thought it was too expensive. The gas tank was about to run out and he decided to stop at the third one.

After he filled the tank, he went in the shop & took a while. The wife had no clue why he was taking so long. Later he finally came back to the car & the wife asked "Did you fill the gas?" and the husband replied "Fill? I was in the washroom releasing it!"

Sam approached Lynn and asked "Have you had sex only once?" Lynn replied "Yeah, how do you know?" Sam said "I looked at your drivers license and it said you got an F in sex!"

I am exhausted. I watched porn, got laid & went to bed. Has anyone seen my wife?

A little girls family just finished eating a vanilla birthday cake. Later the girl went into her parents bedroom and noticed they had eaten cake minutes before. After the parents came out of the washroom & back into the bedroom, the girl said “You two are slobs. There’s lots of icing on the bed!”

A little boy was outside with his parents. He saw a dog humping another and asked “What are they doing?” His mom replied “They’re.. Umm.. Cleaning up!” He replied “So that's what you do at the neighbors house when dad goes to work!”