An English tourist walks into a New York drugstore and asks for a packet of condoms.

"Rubbers, eh?" says the chemist, recognising his customer is English. "That'll be ten dollars, including the tax."

"Jesus!" cries the Englishman, "Back home we just roll them on."

Unknown "mysterious girl" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 27 days ago

A middle-aged man and woman meet, fall in love, and decide to get married.

On their wedding night, they settle into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride says to her new groom, "Please promise to be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

The startled groom says, "How can that be? You've been married three times before."

The bride responds, "Well, my first husband was a psychiatrist and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it."

"My second husband was a gynaecologist and all he ever wanted to do was look at it."

"And my third husband was a stamp collector.... God I miss him!"

Unknown "mysterious girl" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 27 days ago

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Unknown "mysterious girl" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 28 days ago

I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

Unknown "mysterious girl" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 28 days ago

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man -
if you want anything done, ask a woman.
~ Margaret Thatcher

Unknown "mysterious girl" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 28 days ago