You know you're Australian if ...
You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".
You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".
You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".
Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".
You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".
You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.
When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.
You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".
Phil "One of the best" perplexing
- 15 years, 11 months, 18 days ago
