The Best Lovers

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a spectacular gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. As if his prayers were answered, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"

She turned, smiled, and said, "Business. The Annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago."

He swallowed hard. Here was this most beautiful woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really," he said. "What myths are those?"

"Well," she explained. "One popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."

"It's Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba!"


Unknown Playful - 16 years, 3 months, 13 days ago

Dinosaur Bones :) :) :)

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"

The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old."

"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"

The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."


Unknown Playful - 16 years, 3 months, 13 days ago

Shopping for a Husband :) :) :)

A "Husband Shopping Center" was opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men to be her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors.

The only rule was that once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place.

So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.

First floor, the door had a sign saying: "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say: "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they go.

Second floor says: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," say the girls, "But, I wonder what's further up?"

Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow!" say the women."Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up!" And so again, they go up.

Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak."

"Oh, mercy me. But just think?! What must be awaiting us further on?!" So up to the fifth floor they go.

The sign on that door said: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping and have a nice day!"


Unknown Playful - 16 years, 3 months, 13 days ago

Friends and neighbors: I am just a Facebook and Human Pets away. Show me some love :)
Unknown Playful - 16 years, 3 months, 13 days ago

Treked to Chevy Chase, MD the other day. If you aren't familiar with the distance, it's a good twenty five miles with the way that I treked it. I'll be doing it, again, this Saturday or Sunday. Plan to trek even further than that.
Unknown Playful - 16 years, 3 months, 14 days ago