A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I was a hooker!'.
He says 'That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.

She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan
Unknown "The Zookeeper" Cheeky - 16 years, 10 months, 4 days ago

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't

mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both

patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the

hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He

sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.



Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled

him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act

she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she

now considered her to be mentally stable.



When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news

and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were

able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life

of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound

mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his

bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'



Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon

can I go home?'

Unknown "The Zookeeper" Cheeky - 16 years, 10 months, 5 days ago

Oh So True!

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field
trip to their local police station where they saw
pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most
wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a
picture and asked if it really was the photo of a
wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very
badly to capture him."
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when
you took his picture?"

Unknown "The Zookeeper" Cheeky - 16 years, 10 months, 9 days ago

Did you Know????

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.

It's True!
Unknown "The Zookeeper" Cheeky - 16 years, 10 months, 9 days ago

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven


1st woman: Hi ! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi ! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die ?
1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible !
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What
about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But
instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened ?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that
I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic
and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every
closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked
everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer - we'd both still be
alive.
Unknown "The Zookeeper" Cheeky - 16 years, 10 months, 9 days ago