Hey there everyone! I am not sure if anyone noticed I wasn't around (well, I know a couple of you did <3<3<3 Mel & Dan). I finally finished my catalogue translation (which took too damn long) and tomorrow the kids and I are flying back to the states to visit friends and family and enjoy a MUCH needed break from our day-to-day lives.
I hope you have all been doing well. Know that I have missed you all and hope to catch up soon! Hugs & Kisses & Stuff
Phedre777 "JULES" ~* Crazy but Loving it *~ - 15 years, 9 months, 2 days ago

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is usually the husband. When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. 'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Phedre777 "JULES" ~* Crazy but Loving it *~ - 16 years, 25 days ago

Top this for a speeding ticket...hehehe

Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then turned off.

Just then a deafening roar over the tree tops revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location. Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander. The reply came back in true USMC style:

Thank you for your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident.

You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.

Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment location.

Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position.

The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech. Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.

Thank you for your concern. Semper Fi.
Phedre777 "JULES" ~* Crazy but Loving it *~ - 16 years, 28 days ago

Q: How can you make God laugh?

A: Tell Him your plans for the future.
Phedre777 "JULES" ~* Crazy but Loving it *~ - 16 years, 1 month, 28 days ago

Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 10


Explination: 1 to screw it and 9 to form the support group to justify why there were no sexual implications in the act of screwing.
Phedre777 "JULES" ~* Crazy but Loving it *~ - 16 years, 1 month, 28 days ago