Okay, let's tell the tale of how I broke my leg in three places on a tire swing.
Back in the halcyon days of my youth, I enjoyed tire swings more than any other strapping lad.
And by strapping lad, I mean a lad who read enough books and spent enough time on the computer to virtually give himself rickets due to shunning our mother star.
Anywho, I (the strapping young lad) went out to the playground of our school. I made a beeline to the swings, as I was the best at swinging in our grade. The guy next to me was my close second and rival. It's really too bad that I beat him at everything, not just swings. I made him cry once.
Back to the tale.
I was at it all recess until I saw the teacher start to go to the front of the playground. I saw this as an opportunity to win at one of the other competitions on our playground - first in line to go back to eat lunch.
I had a patented move to get ahead of all of the others: I would jump from the swing at the peak of its swing forward.
I prepped myself. At the apex, I let go and lunged forward.
At this moment, we can pause and reflect on the recklessness of this move. Thanks to Murphy and his law, we don't have to only think of the possible bad things. This is a Wile E. Coyote moment.
Little did I know, my right foot was still caught in the tire. I am pulled back on the swing. It comes back down.
I start to fall backwards off of the swing. Foot still caught.
I am horizontal on the swing. Foot still caught.
I hear a loud popping noise coming from my leg. Hey, my foot isn't caught anymore.
I fall on my back and push myself away from the swing using my arms.
El Jerko the Magnificent on the next swing thinks I am joking until I start screaming incoherently.
Ambulance pulls up. Guys put me in traction. I get rushed to the hospital.
ER doctor asks what car wreck I had been in. Proceeds to be astonished.
And he had a case to be astonished.
With just a tire swing and a little precociousness, I managed to break my leg in three places, fracture it in eight, and almost need a blood transfusion.
Reflecting back on this, it really changed my life. Derailed my burgeoning track career and sent me on a life in academia. Very well may have determined my path to college.
And that determined my new friends, experiences, and loves.
Would I change it? Would I go back and prevent myself from breaking one of the most major bones in my body?
Nope.
Unknown "Anton Chigurh" Purring
- 16 years, 8 months, 21 days ago