This morning, the youngest and I are getting ready to leave the house. I asked her to bring my shoes to me. She picks up the giant sized shoes and says, 'You don't wear these in the summer.'

To which I respond, 'Well I usually wear my sandals in the summer, but I wear these shoes to work when I go.'

She is shocked and responds 'You work in the summer?'
Unknown Sparkling - 16 years, 1 month, 18 days ago

An old Serbian man once said to me, "You will never love anything so much as your first grandchild or your second wife."
Unknown Sparkling - 16 years, 1 month, 29 days ago

Ok so my wife and I are out shopping for a mirror for our bathroom and we get a couple of bottles of pop to drink while we wander through the local Home Sense wondering who buys all this crap.

As soon as we arrive I need to make a trip to the washroom. I go to the back of the store where they have the washrooms, just beyond the scratch and dent section. Now I still have the bottle of pop in my hands unopened when I get there.

I look for a place to set the pop down cause I don’t want to bring it into the washroom with me, these places are usually not very clean and there is likely not going to be anywhere to put the pop down inside. There is a large cabinet in the scratch and dent section very close to the washroom door. Excellent.

I open the pop and take a sip before I go in ‘cause I don’t want someone to find a sealed bottle of pop and take it while I am in the washroom. I set it on top of the scratch and dent cabinet and charge into the washroom. By this time I really have to go.

When I get inside I look around and think to myself, ‘Why are there no urinals in here?’

Unknown Sparkling - 16 years, 7 months, 19 days ago

Whoops, sent a Valentines Flower to myself instead of my wife.
Maybe I should pet myself as well.
Unknown Sparkling - 16 years, 9 months, 16 days ago