Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

Q. How is a blonde like a frying pan?
A. You have to get them hot, before you put in the meat.

Q. What does a blonde put behind her ear to make herself more attractive?
A. Her Ankles.

Q. What did the blondes father say to his blonde daughter?
A. If your not in bed by 11 come home.

Unknown "Smooth Talker" Daring - 16 years, 4 months, 9 days ago

Farmer Brown and his wife were working in the field one day about dusk. As they were heading back to the house they saw a bunch of strange lights way out in the field. Upon ariving Farmer Brown and his wife saw a spaceship landing. They were approached by two aliens. The aliens said they were researching human sex life and wanted to know if they could partner switch. After talking it over Farmer Brown and his wife agreed. The next morning the aliens left.

Farmer Brown was dying to ask his wife what happened. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore and broke down and asked her. Well what happened?

She replied, It was the best sex I ever had!

Why? asked Farmer Brown.

Well when he took off his pants it wasn'r but an inch long and as big around as my pinky, but then he reached up and turned his left ear and it grew as to 16 inches, then he turned his right ear and it got as big around as a sausage.

Farmer Brown said, Well shit, no wonder that bitch was trying to rip my ears off!!
Unknown "Smooth Talker" Daring - 16 years, 4 months, 9 days ago

10 Reasons Why Studying is Better Than Sex

10. You can usually find someone to do it with.
9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.
8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.
6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."
4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.
3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.
1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.
Unknown "Smooth Talker" Daring - 16 years, 8 months, 9 days ago

A man and his wife decide to go on a cruise for their 50th wedding anniversary. On the day they leave they wake up late and rush to catch their boat. The couple was in such a hurry his wife forgot to grab her hearing aids.
With a great deal of luck they manage to catch thier boat and are among the last to board. When they get to their room they are shocked to discover they have been given bunk beds! They go to the captain and explain that this is their 50th anniversary and ask about getting a different room. The captain apologises profusely, telling them they are completely full and there is nothing he can do.
The first night the man asks his wife, "up or down?". She grabs him throws him to the floor and the two have the best sex they've had in years. Next night he asks his wife, "up or down?" Again she throws him on the floor and they have the best sex since they were teenagers. The whole cruise goes on like this.
Exhausted they arrive back home and his wife puts in her hearing aids. The husband is still weak from their vacation but decides to try his luck again. So that night he asks her,"up or down?"
She says "what the in the hell are you talking about?"
"Well the whole trip I was asking you every night up or down and we've been having marvelous sex."
She stares at him blankly and says,"I though you were saying fuck or drown!"
Unknown "Smooth Talker" Daring - 16 years, 9 months, 16 days ago